If people get their feelings hurt from jokes, then they are too delicate to be in society. — Ralphie May Comedy Copy Share Image
I think we can do better with our politicians. I think I'd make a good one, because I like people. — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
I think there's too much emphasis on making sure our corporations are OK versus making sure our people are OK. — Ralphie May Corporations Copy Share Image
Im still trying to decide if hes a punk-ass bitch, or a bitch-ass punk. — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
I don't go to comedy clubs unless I'm working. And when I do work, I come in, I do my time and… — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
Comedy is not about appearance; it's about rockin' a mike. Are they laughing? That's the only test. — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
I want to raise awareness about evils perpetuated on American citizens by other American citizens. — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
I live in a very dangerous part of Los Angeles? its called Los Angeles. — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
I've been called a race traitor, prejudiced about white people. It's ridiculous... I have a really, really diverse crowd. Most comedy clubs… — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
People have been calling me names and setting me back my whole life. And with every fight it's just given me more… — Ralphie May Calling names Copy Share Image
I have a lot of pride in the fact that I don't do a lot of fat material. I give people who… — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
My audience has accepted me for a long time as, you know, not a fat comedian but a comedian who happens to… — Ralphie May Audience Copy Share Image
I loved 'Celebrity Fit Club,' working out six days a week, running a mile and a half three times a week, and… — Ralphie May Celebrity Copy Share Image
My audience expects me to push the limits, to be politically incorrect. I do that because for me, that's the only place… — Ralphie May Audience Copy Share Image
Last Comic Standing was a great opportunity and it was a great learning experience. Even though I didn't win, I've had more… — Ralphie May Comedy Copy Share Image
Jesus was a pothead- long hair, beard, sandals, carpenter- do the math it all adds up. Living with twelve guys with no… — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
I'm dirty, I'm irreverent - but I'm still a very topical comedian. — Ralphie May Comedian Copy Share Image
I'm honest, at the end of the day - I'm obese, but I'm not obtuse. — Ralphie May Day Copy Share Image
