I've always been Ralphie, ever since I was a kid. My grandfather was Ralph. It suits me better to be Ralphie. — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want my comedy show to hurt anybody. I'm not Donald Trump. — Ralphie May Comedy Copy Share Image
Fat people are the only people you can still make fun of in this country. — Ralphie May Country Copy Share Image
As a man seeing someone, have a decision: You can be correct or you can be glad. — Ralphie May Decision Copy Share Image
I mean, comics fear sue - you know, lawsuits and stuff like that, just because they don't like to do paperwork. — Ralphie May Comic Copy Share Image
The people I make fun of most are white people. They're the dumbest ones. They really are. — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
The overwhelming majority of my material has very little to do with my weight. It's certainly not the crux of my material. — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
People don't know where to place me, and I think that's why my audience is so big. — Ralphie May Audience Copy Share Image
I don't get much respect from the industry in general, but that's OK. I didn't get into it for respect. I got… — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
Wanna give a shout-out to the Fry Guy, got much love fo the Fry Guy? let me get a cold drank, need… — Ralphie May Love Copy Share Image
Jesus was a pothead Long hair, beard, sandals, carpenter. Do the math, it all adds up. Living with 12 guys with no… — Ralphie May Jesus Copy Share Image
When I do jokes that maybe are seen as social commentary, I research them to the nth degree. I probably do more… — Ralphie May Comedy Copy Share Image
I'm topical as hell. That's not going to change if I lose weight. There are a lot of comics that do 'fat… — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
My jokes aren't predicated on my weight that much. I talk about it some, but it's definitely not the focus, so I… — Ralphie May Copy Share Image
You talk to - I had a good fortune of getting to spend a lot of time with Uncle Miltie and guys… — Ralphie May Fortune Copy Share Image
There's no getting around it - I am a politically incorrect, racially insensitive, culturally controversial comic, but at least I'm self-aware. — Ralphie May Comedy Copy Share Image
I'm dirty, I'm irreverent - but I'm still a very topical comedian. — Ralphie May Comedian Copy Share Image
