All Nick Offerman Quotes
- Marijuana is quite possibly the finest of intoxicants. It has been scientifically proven, for decades, to be much less harmful to the body than alcohol… Alcohol
- I've had to learn and discipline myself that I'm much happier and much less depressed if I give myself a project. It's just that simple. Depressed
- No matter how you decide to spend a little more time on your gestures of giving, the point is just quite simply that you do. Decide
- Men and women alike, if you think that altering the tip of your nose with surgery will make you happier, I would suggest you alter… Alike
- I'm opposed to a lot of the time that we as a civilization have come to spend looking at screens. For my money, life is… Civilization
- The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters. Bacon
- Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown… Day
- Shut your damn mouth. Damn
- Just stand up for your principals and be loyal to your friends and family. Family
- Don't use barbiturates before going on stage. And be honest. Honest
- Damn it all, you have been given a life on this beautiful planet! Get off your ass and do something! All
- Really, all religious teachings can be boiled down to: “Just be cool. Don’t be an asshole. All
- I learned the word non-conformist in fourth grade and immediately announced that I would grow up to become one. Announced
- Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it. Figure
- Jobs that require a suit upset me. They displease me much, as our world is rife with such superficial conformity. Conformity
- If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt. Inspirational
- Once you have a PhD, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment. Appointment
- Technically, we're all half centaur. All
- With all of the visual distraction constantly inundating us in the form of our devices and screens, I really derive a great deal of pleasure… Across
- Whatever it is you like to do, that's the sexiest part of you. Funny