Neil Simon Quotes

34 quotes in 497 categories

• He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.
• Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.
• Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me. I like being alone in a room. It's almost a form of meditation- an investigation…
• It looks different when you're sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture.
• Talent is the gift plus the passion - a desire to succeed so intense that no force on earth can stop it.
• Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.
• Evan Handler's new book is simply wonderful. He pulls you inside his life, and you come out his very close friend.
• I was constantly being dragged out of movies for laughing too loud.
• You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way.…
• Don't listen to those who say, you taking too big a chance. Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed…
• Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.
• Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.
• I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That's normal.
• The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement...Of course, He could have built it to last longer but you can't have everything.
• Give your mind a chance to travel through foreign languages.
• I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. Its either very new cheese or very old meat. - Oscar Madison, from The Odd Couple
• Once you start compromising your thoughts, you're a candidate for mediocrity.
• People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?
• I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, not to the exclusion of love, sensitivity, and cooperation with others, but with…
• There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.

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