Mort Sahl

A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.

— Mort Sahl

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

— Mort Sahl

Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.

— Mort Sahl

There are talented people along the way, although very few come to mind. They're not very daring. Part of the problem is…

— Mort Sahl

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

— Mort Sahl

I was afraid no one would laugh, and I wanted to pretend I wasn't noticing the audience. I didn't want the audience…

— Mort Sahl

You know me, I love lost causes.

— Mort Sahl

Obama is running again for spite.

— Mort Sahl

I was on stage last night, and I gave a medical report about Donald Trump. I said he was hospitalized for an…

— Mort Sahl

When people write comedy from neutrality, it just gets kind of silly.

— Mort Sahl

I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!

— Mort Sahl

I took benzedrine - I got clairvoyance. With benzedrine you can have a very wide view of the world, like you can…

— Mort Sahl

“One reason to keep going is that the country was given to us as a sacred charge. It is, as Stephen Vincent…

— Mort Sahl

There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and…

— Mort Sahl

There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!

— Mort Sahl

We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.

— Mort Sahl

If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.

— Mort Sahl

The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.

— Mort Sahl

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

— Mort Sahl

We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.

— Mort Sahl

I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?

— Mort Sahl

You know what I want you to do? I want you to blow out the candle and curse the darkness.

— Mort Sahl

The bravest thing that men do is love women.

— Mort Sahl

I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.

— Mort Sahl

My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it.…

— Mort Sahl