Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it? — Matt Groening Funny simpsons Copy Share Image
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
I promise I'll do anything for you, especialy if it's easy. Homer Simpson — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
“One year later, I got beat up at a Neil Diamond concert by a guy named Scrunchie!” — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
Families are about love overcoming emotional torture. - Maker of the Simpsons — Matt Groening Emotional Copy Share Image
Part of the fun of being alive is knowing that you're annoying the hell out of someone else. — Matt Groening Alive Copy Share Image
Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either. — Matt Groening Ashamed Copy Share Image
Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?" Homer: "Well, I think the veal died of loneliness. — Matt Groening Animal life Copy Share Image
Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing. — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny. — Matt Groening Comedies Copy Share Image
I thought I was going to make crazy cartoons for the rest of my life. I didn't think I'd ever get paid… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
You just have to keep in mind that the important relationship is the relationship with the audience. That's what I try to… — Matt Groening Audience Copy Share Image
Oftentimes, what seems to be a street lunatic charging at me spouting gibberish turns out to be a devoted 'Simpsons' fan quoting… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
The best stories in our culture have some sort of subversiveness - Mark Twain, 'Catcher in the Rye.' You provide kids with… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
A lot of people believe that if everybody just did what they were told - obeyed - everything would be fine. But… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
I may be biting off more than I can chew, but with 'The Simpsons' and with 'Futurama,' what I'm trying to do… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
The writers led by Mike Scully are fantastic. And they're creating original stories that not only don't repeat what we've already done,… — Matt Groening Creating Copy Share Image
One of the things I would like to do is make up stories that I would have enjoyed when I was a… — Matt Groening Audience Copy Share Image
I personally like the idea of newspapers. It's a good format. You can read it in whatever order you want. You can… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
“To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems” — Matt Groening Alcohol Copy Share Image
This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio, but not in America!" Homer Simpson — Matt Groening America Copy Share Image
First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women. — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
If at first you don't succeed - give it up. It isn't worth the pain. — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
Did you hear something?" "No." "Did I hear something?" "...I don't know... — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in. — Matt Groening Funny Copy Share Image
Since I was there in the very beginning, I know the history of the characters. So, I make comments about the tone… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
My standard comment is, 'If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson.' — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same. — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be… — Matt Groening Court Copy Share Image
I would prefer to listen to a French classical composer like Olivier Messiaen than to the pop hits of the day. — Matt Groening Classical composers Copy Share Image
