Mason Cooley

Contempt for others, like masturbation, is best as a secret pleasure.

— Mason Cooley

When I get the point, I often don't know what to do with it.

— Mason Cooley

Stupidity is a fact of life, but unmentionable. The new Prudery.

— Mason Cooley

Transcendence is something between a metaphor and a miracle.

— Mason Cooley

As a child I was middle-aged and cautious compared to my impulsive father.

— Mason Cooley

When you can't figure out what to do, it's time for a nap.

— Mason Cooley

A goldfish is reason enough for living, if someone needs a reason.

— Mason Cooley

Few artists can afford artistic temperament.

— Mason Cooley

Charity does not like arithmetic; selfishness worships it.

— Mason Cooley

Children now expect their parents to audition for approval.

— Mason Cooley

The aftermath of joy is not usually more joy.

— Mason Cooley

In conversation, everyone sits in confident judgment on the world.

— Mason Cooley

Hope likes justification, but can do without.

— Mason Cooley

The New Right: kiss the bankers and spank the babies.

— Mason Cooley

Even in rapture, part of the mind watches.

— Mason Cooley

I create my social existence by earning and spending.

— Mason Cooley

I can neither return your love nor dismiss it.

— Mason Cooley

The sun cares nothing for illumination.

— Mason Cooley

Tales of adultery are much improved by period costumes.

— Mason Cooley

I am no longer in love, but I still have my jealousy.

— Mason Cooley

Unlike art and sex, money always arouses interest.

— Mason Cooley

Fear of my cruel impulses makes me kind.

— Mason Cooley

If success is a habit, it is a hard one to acquire.

— Mason Cooley

Sophistication knows the score, but is powerless to change it.

— Mason Cooley

The eros of advertising is lurid but not specific.

— Mason Cooley