You will not stop. The pain is necessary, especially the pain of hunger. It reassures you that you are strong, can withstand… — Marya Hornbacher Body Copy Share Image
Were I to put myself on... one of those online dating things, I would not include in my profile that I'm regularly… — Marya Hornbacher Dating Copy Share Image
“For all its God language, the Twelve Step program isn’t actually an attempt at religious conversion. Really, it just tries to bring… — Marya Hornbacher Programming Copy Share Image
The problem is that you don't just choose recovery. You have to keep choosing recovery, over and over and over again. You… — Marya Hornbacher Choices Copy Share Image
There are women in my closet, hanging on the hangers. a different woman for each suit, each dress, each pair of shoes.… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
Anorexia and bulimia seem to be getting much more common in boys, men, and women of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds; they… — Marya Hornbacher Age Copy Share Image
But in some ways, the most significant choices one makes in life are done for reasons that are not all that dramatic,… — Marya Hornbacher Choice Copy Share Image
I do have faith. I don't have faith that a God exists, nor do I have faith that one does not; I… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
I threw up again that night, half-afraid that my eyeballs would explode. But it was, by far, more important that I get… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
“So rather than running from doubt, shutting down our spirits and hearts, or reaching for quick certainty, we can use doubt as… — Marya Hornbacher Doubt Copy Share Image
“Your ability to withstand pain is your claim to fame. It is ascetic, holy. It is self-control. It is masochism, and masochism… — Marya Hornbacher Masochism Copy Share Image
“At first it's bliss. It's drunken, heady, intoxicating. It swallows the people we were - not particuarly wonderful people, but people who… — Marya Hornbacher Bipolar disorder Copy Share Image
“You know those afternoons," he asks, drawing a shaking breath, "where you’re just going along, doing fine, and then afternoon comes and… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
If I had been a different sort of person, maybe less impressionable, less intense, less fearful, less utterly dependent upon the perceptions… — Marya Hornbacher Chaos Copy Share Image
For a long time I believed the opposite of passion was death. I was wrong. Passion and death are implicit, one in… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
I do not remember very many things from the inside out. I do not remember what it felt like to touch things,… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
The idea of my future simultaneously thrilled and terrified me, like standing at the lip of a very sheer cliff- I could… — Marya Hornbacher Adventure Copy Share Image
In our absence, the violet early evening light pours in the bay window, filling the still room like water poured into a… — Marya Hornbacher Absence Copy Share Image
“Bear in mind you have a life to live. There is an incredible loss. There is a profound grief. And there is,… — Marya Hornbacher Death Copy Share Image
There's childhood and early onset bipolar, but it transitions in your early adulthood into something a little bit different, and extremely severe.… — Marya Hornbacher Adulthood Copy Share Image
When I returned, everything was different. Everything was calm, and I felt very clean. Everything was in order. Everything was as it… — Marya Hornbacher Business Copy Share Image
I had a love affair with books, with characters and their words. Books kept me company. When the voices of the book… — Marya Hornbacher Affair Copy Share Image
“When we doubt, we learn to accept that we may not ever know. When we question, we learn to accept that there… — Marya Hornbacher Doubt Copy Share Image
My god! people say. You have so much self-control! And later: My god. You're so, so sick. When people say this, they… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
• This seems impossible to me. It seems biologically impossible to stay the same size, although I must. It seems one must… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
I am feeling fine. I remember these words and recite them. These are the things you say when asked how you are.… — Marya Hornbacher Detachment Copy Share Image
In her presence, I was reminded again of why I was an anoretic: fear. Of my needs, for food, for sleep, for… — Marya Hornbacher Being human Copy Share Image
“Whether one believes that transformation is effected by the will of an outer force, or the willingness of an inner self, does… — Marya Hornbacher Change Copy Share Image
I developed a deep, abiding fear of jeans, which I still have. I hold my breath and shut my eyes when I… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
I either want to be completely recovered or completely emaciated. It's the in between that I can't stand, the limbo of failure… — Marya Hornbacher Death Copy Share Image
You never come back, not all the way. Always there is an odd distance between you and the people you love and… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
It's really interesting to me how all of us can experience the exact same event, and yet come away with wildly disparate… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
“It is easy to write off childlike faith in the universe and childlike wonder at the world as simply a lack of… — Marya Hornbacher Childlike faith Copy Share Image
And so I am feeling numb. It's a curious feeling, and I get it all the time. My attention to the world… — Marya Hornbacher Attention Copy Share Image
“Call it the feeling of love that connects us. Call it the creative force that drives us to transform. Call it our… — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
I know how this feels: the tightening of the chest, the panic, the what-have-I-done-wait-I-was-kidding. Eating disorders linger so long undetected, eroding the… — Marya Hornbacher Anxiety Copy Share Image
All of us carry around countless bags of dusty old knickknacks dated from childhood: collected resentments, long list of wounds of greater… — Marya Hornbacher Absolute certainty Copy Share Image
Soon madness has worn you down. It’s easier to do what it says than argue. In this way, it takes over your… — Marya Hornbacher Absurd Copy Share Image
And it's California, where everything is powerfully strange. Everyone wants it to be home. Everyone left where he or she was from… — Marya Hornbacher California Copy Share Image
“It is a visual temper tantrum. You are making an ineffective statement about this and that, a grotesque, self-defeating mockery of cultural… — Marya Hornbacher Beauty Copy Share Image
