No one has ever seen a Republican mass meeting that was devoid of the perception of the ludicrous. — Mark Twain Mass Copy Share Image
Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration. — Mark Twain Comedy Copy Share Image
A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining. — Mark Twain Banker Copy Share Image
A country without a patent office and good patent laws is just a crab, and can't travel any way but sideways and… — Mark Twain Country Copy Share Image
“When you find yourself on the side of the majority, you should pause and reflect.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating. — Mark Twain Army Copy Share Image
Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in. — Mark Twain Inspirational Copy Share Image
I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus. — Mark Twain Father Copy Share Image
Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Cooper's art has some defects. In one place in 'Deerslayer,' and in the restricted space of two-thirds of a page, Cooper has… — Mark Twain Art Copy Share Image
“We said there warn't no home like a raft, after all. Other places do seem so cramped up and smothery, but a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I have no special regard for Satan; but I can at least claim that I have no prejudice against him. It may… — Mark Twain Religion Copy Share Image
But it was ever thus, all through my life: whenever I have diverged from custom and principle and uttered a truth, the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Suddenly the nickel-clad horse takes the bit in its mouth and goes slanting for the curbstone defying all prayers and all your… — Mark Twain Bicycle Copy Share Image
But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious - unless he purposely shut… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
We often feel sad in the presence of music without words; and often more than that in the presence of music without… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow. — Mark Twain Companionship Copy Share Image
“Health is a habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at… — Mark Twain Habit Copy Share Image
When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by… — Mark Twain Audience Copy Share Image
“If you wish to inflict a heartless and malignant punishment upon a young person, pledge him to keep a journal a year.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
To one in sympathy with nature, each season, in its turn, seems the loveliest. — Mark Twain Inspirational Copy Share Image
Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments - notably those of the violin - but it seems to set… — Mark Twain Age Copy Share Image
Writing is the easiest thing in the world… Just try it sometime. I sit up with a pipe in my mouth and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The church is always trying to get other people to reform, it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a… — Mark Twain Always trying Copy Share Image
“And she took snuff, too; of course that was all right, because she done it herself. Her” — Mark Twain Heart Copy Share Image
Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on. — Mark Twain Animal Copy Share Image
“Man is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight” — Mark Twain Animal Copy Share Image
Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“They mourned for his kind of Christianity, and he frankly scoffed at theirs; but both parties went on loving each other just… — Mark Twain Christianity Copy Share Image
Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill… — Mark Twain Comedy Copy Share Image
Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement. — Mark Twain Decision making Copy Share Image
Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience. — Mark Twain Age Copy Share Image
No sane man can be happy, for to him life is real, and he sees what a fearful thing it is. — Mark Twain Fearful Copy Share Image
“Manners!" he said. "Why, it is merely the truth, and truth is good manners; manners are a fiction. The castle is done.… — Mark Twain Good man Copy Share Image
We chase phantoms half the days of our lives. It is well if we learn wisdom even then, and save the other… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is often the case that a man who cant tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one. — Mark Twain Dishonesty Copy Share Image
No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests. — Mark Twain Accumulation Copy Share Image
A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
