One gains at least two to three times more experience grabbing the tiger by the tail than reading about it in a… — Mark Twain Book Copy Share Image
I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can. — Mark Twain Data Copy Share Image
“It is strong language, but true. None of us could _live_ with an habitual truthteller; but thank goodness none of us has… — Mark Twain Language Copy Share Image
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed… — Mark Twain Common humanity Copy Share Image
After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the… — Mark Twain Love Copy Share Image
There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular one is Providence. — Mark Twain God Copy Share Image
There is not an acre of ground on the globe that is in possession of its rightful owner, or that has not… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father; He is always longing for the love of… — Mark Twain Children Copy Share Image
“NOTICE Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is sound statesmanship to add two battleships every time our neighbour adds one and two stories to our skyscrapers every time… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“In another moment he was flying down the street with his pail and a tingling rear, Tom was whitewashing with vigor, and… — Mark Twain Humor Copy Share Image
In other localities certain places in the streams are much better than others, but at Niagara one place is just as good… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whenever he was out of luck and a little down-hearted, he would fall to mourning over the loss of a wonderful cat… — Mark Twain Cat Copy Share Image
Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it. — Mark Twain Fool Copy Share Image
In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am as prompt as a clock, if I only know the day a thing is wantedotherwise I am a natural procrastinaturalist. — Mark Twain Clock Copy Share Image
Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money off them. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Dance like no one's watching.Love like you've never been hurt.Sing like no one's listening.Live like heaven is on Earth. — Mark Twain Dance Copy Share Image
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. — Mark Twain Confidence Copy Share Image
“way. And there ain’t no OTHER way, that ever I heard of, and I’ve read all the books that gives any information… — Mark Twain Books Copy Share Image
“Just when I thought I was learning how to live, 'twas then I realized I was learning how to die.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
One of the brightest gems in the New England weather is the dazzling uncertainty of it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain. — Mark Twain Boys Copy Share Image
“Herodotus says, "Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all: the conscientious historian will… — Mark Twain Creativity Copy Share Image
“The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the… — Mark Twain Heart and soul Copy Share Image
What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I don't see any use in finding out things and clogging up my head with them when I mayn't ever have any… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there… — Mark Twain Comedy Copy Share Image
Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more… — Mark Twain Death Copy Share Image
Unused talents gives you no advantage over someone who has no talent at all. — Mark Twain Advantage Copy Share Image
Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia. — Mark Twain Funny Copy Share Image
If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same… — Mark Twain Blessing Copy Share Image
A little lie can travel half way 'round the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Civilization largely consists in hiding human nature. When the barbarian learns to hide it we account him enlightened. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When one has tasted watermelons, one knows what angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it… — Mark Twain Angel Copy Share Image
Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Only laughter can blow [a colossal humbug] to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. — Mark Twain Assault Copy Share Image
![“Only laughter can blow [a colossal humbug] to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” quote by Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c3/mark-twain-22_assault_only-laughter-can-blow-a-colossal-humbug_2875586.png)