If you need help identifying actionable analytics check out this post. — Mark Twain Analytics Copy Share Image
“Today the same thing over. I've got it up the tree again.” — Mark Twain Battle of the sexes Copy Share Image
“I've had a very difficult life. Fortunately, most of it didn't happen.” — Mark Twain Difficult life Copy Share Image
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness. — Mark Twain Cold Copy Share Image
I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is at our mother's knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I can't do no literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and looking around for a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“It made him feel a little uncomfortable sometimes when he reflected that the good little boys always died. He loved to live,… — Mark Twain Goodness Copy Share Image
There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get… — Mark Twain Age Copy Share Image
The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“My financial views are of the most decided character, but they are not likely, perhaps, to increase my popularity with the advocates… — Mark Twain Inflation Copy Share Image
When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect… — Mark Twain Comedy Copy Share Image
What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is… — Mark Twain Change Copy Share Image
“A feud is this way: A man has a quarrel with another man, and kills him; then that other man's brother kills… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is not like studying German, where you mull along, in a groping, uncertain way, for thirty years; and at last, just… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I said there was nothing so convincing to an Indian as a general massacre. If he could not approve of the massacre,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of… — Mark Twain Antiwar Copy Share Image
It didn't take me long to make up my mind that these liars warn't no kings nor dukes at all, but just… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“First they done a lecture on temperance; but they didn't make enough for them both to get drunk on. Then in another… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I've just come to my room, Livy darling, I guess this was the memorable night of my life. By George, I never… — Mark Twain Admiration Copy Share Image
“Hang the boy, can't I never learn anything? Ain't he played tricks on me enough like that for me to be looking… — Mark Twain Children Copy Share Image
Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age. — Mark Twain Age Copy Share Image
I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. — Mark Twain Inspiration Copy Share Image
