Recipe for a long life: Only smoke while awake. Only run when being chased. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny — Mark Twain Arrogance Copy Share Image
God has put something noble and good into every heart His hand created. — Mark Twain Good heart Copy Share Image
To believe yourself brave is to be brave; it is the one only essential thing. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What a lie it is to call this a free country, where none but the unworthy and undeserving may swear. — Mark Twain Country Copy Share Image
It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the… — Mark Twain Bears Copy Share Image
In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination. — Mark Twain Beliefs Copy Share Image
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The difference between the right word and the nearly right word is the same as that between lightning and the lightning bug.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy. — Mark Twain Boys Copy Share Image
“The mere knowledge of a fact is pale; but when you come to realize your fact, it takes on color. It is… — Mark Twain Experience-inspiration Copy Share Image
Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Now what I contend is that my body is my own, at least I have always so regarded it. If I do… — Mark Twain Body Copy Share Image
What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a man's breast with pride above that which any… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Where are there are two desires in a man's heart he has no choice between the two but must obey the strongest,… — Mark Twain Choice Copy Share Image
I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“A God who could make good children as easily a bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every… — Mark Twain Agnostic Copy Share Image
A private should preserve a respectful attitude toward his superiors, and should seldom or never proceed so far as to offer suggestions… — Mark Twain Advice Copy Share Image
“I reckon the widow or the parson or somebody prayed that this bread would find me, and here it have gone and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse… — Mark Twain Absence Copy Share Image
“The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of… — Mark Twain Arrogance Copy Share Image
As I have said before, I never had any large respect for good spelling. That is my feeling yet. Before the spelling-book… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful… — Mark Twain Alive Copy Share Image
A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people. — Mark Twain Approval Copy Share Image
Great enterprises usually promise vastly more than they perform. — Mark Twain Business Copy Share Image
Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness. — Mark Twain Happiness Copy Share Image
It shames the average man to be valued below his own estimate of his worth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
