“Any established church is an established crime, an established slave pen.” — Mark Twain Religion Copy Share Image
I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know have gone to a better world, I am moved to… — Mark Twain Belief Copy Share Image
The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. — Mark Twain Funny Copy Share Image
The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat. — Mark Twain Human race Copy Share Image
I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Carlyle said 'a lie cannot live.' It shows that he did not know how to tell them. — Mark Twain Carlyle Copy Share Image
Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair pretext for the usual Sunday medley of… — Mark Twain America Copy Share Image
“The choir always tittered and whispered all through service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have… — Mark Twain Choir Copy Share Image
All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash.… — Mark Twain America Copy Share Image
Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it… — Mark Twain Children Copy Share Image
“On one of these occasions, "suddenly there hovered around the top of the rock a brightness of unequaled clearness and color, which,… — Mark Twain Enchanting Copy Share Image
“It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom… — Mark Twain Communication Copy Share Image
Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known… — Mark Twain Execution Copy Share Image
You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Look at the tyranny of party-- at what is called party allegiance, party loyalty-- a snare invented by designing men for selfish… — Mark Twain Communication Copy Share Image
“The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over, and care for,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Man is the only Patriot. He sets himself apart in his own country, under his own flag, and sneers at the other… — Mark Twain Assassins Copy Share Image
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. It is said that leaders… — Mark Twain Advantage Copy Share Image
“A nation is only an individual multiplied. It makes plans and Circumstances comes and upsets them—or enlarges them. Some patriots throw the… — Mark Twain Circumstance Copy Share Image
I love to revel in philosophical matters-especially astronomy. I study astronomy more than any other foolishness there is. I am a perfect… — Mark Twain Astronomy Copy Share Image
Life was a fairy-tale, then, it is a tragedy now. When I was 43 and John Hay 41 he said life was… — Mark Twain Age Copy Share Image
Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with. — Mark Twain Balloon Copy Share Image
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. — Mark Twain Books Copy Share Image
