My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies. — Mark Twain Arrogance Copy Share Image
A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Let me make the superstitionsof a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs either. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My heart goes out to anyone who is making his first appearance before an audience of human beings. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress and some would lose all of it. — Mark Twain Charm Copy Share Image
While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats. — Mark Twain Apes Copy Share Image
It is poison - rank poison - to knuckle down to care and hardships. They must come to us all, albeit in… — Mark Twain Care Copy Share Image
From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one… — Mark Twain Comfort Copy Share Image
If I had been helping the Almighty when he created man, I would have had him begin at the other end, and… — Mark Twain Age Copy Share Image
It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half… — Mark Twain Birthday Copy Share Image
“It is said, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it… — Mark Twain Conscience Copy Share Image
“We have reached a little altitude where we may look down upon the Indian Thugs with a complacent shudder; and we may… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Everybody lies...every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still… — Mark Twain Attitude Copy Share Image
We were good boys, good Presbyterian boys, and loyal and all that; anyway, we were good Presbyterian boys when the weather was… — Mark Twain Boys Copy Share Image
“Damascus, is simply an oasis, that is what it is. For four thousand years its waters have not gone dry or its… — Mark Twain Damascus Copy Share Image
Water is an individual, an animal, and is alive, remove the hydrogen and it is an animal and is alive; the remaining… — Mark Twain Alive Copy Share Image
“a square, flat-roofed hovel, neatly frescoed, with its wall-tops gallantly bastioned and turreted with dried camel-refuse, gives to a landscape a feature… — Mark Twain Cats Copy Share Image
“Then the old man got to cussing, and cussed everything and everybody he could think of, and then cussed them all over… — Mark Twain Old man Copy Share Image
“by and by it got sort of lonesome, and so I went and set on the bank and listened to the current… — Mark Twain Better way Copy Share Image
“Now there you have a sample of man’s “reasoning powers,” as he calls them. He observes certain facts. For instance, that in… — Mark Twain Reasoning Copy Share Image
There is in life only one moment and in eternity only one. It is so brief that it is represented by the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
