Abusers thrive on creating confusion, including confusion about the abuse itself. — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“An abuser's behavior is primarily conscious – he acts deliberately rather than by accident or by losing control of himself – but… — Lundy Bancroft Habits Copy Share Image
“An abuser can be thought of not as a man who is a "deviant," but rather as one who learned his society's… — Lundy Bancroft Abuser Copy Share Image
But whether you stay or go, the critical decision you can make is to stop letting your partner distort the lens of… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
Abuse and respect are diametric opposites: You do not respect someone whom you abuse, and you do not abuse someone whom you… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“-He drives recklessly or speeds up when he’s angry. -He punches walls or kicks doors. -He throws things around, even if they… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
One of the prevalent features of life with an angry or controlling partner is that he frequently tells you what you should… — Lundy Bancroft Copy Share Image
Abuse counselors say of the abusive client: “When he looks at himself in the morning and sees his dirty face, he sets… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“As a product of Anglo-Saxon-Protestant culture, I am familiar with its centuries-old tradition of hiding its abuse of women under pretty packaging.” — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“It is fine to commiserate with a man about his bad experience with a previous partner, but the instant he uses her… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“The central attitudes driving the Terrorist are: You have no right to defy me or leave me. Your life is in my… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“A man’s beliefs about the effects of the substance will largely be borne out. If he believes that alcohol can make him… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out? Has he ever raised a fist as if he… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“Have you ever noticed that people sometimes quit a job soon after returning from a vacation? We all have a higher tolerance… — Lundy Bancroft Freedom Copy Share Image
We hear from time to time about horrible human rights atrocities happening around the globe. Our government claims that it stands in… — Lundy Bancroft Atrocities Copy Share Image
“I am often asked whether physical aggression by women toward men, such as a slap in the face, is abuse. The answer… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“I am often asked whether physical aggression by women toward men, such as a slap in the face, is abuse. (..) Men… — Lundy Bancroft Slap in the face Copy Share Image
“It is important to note that research has shown that men who have abusive mothers do not tend to develop especially negative… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“Each boy’s socialization is unique. Even two siblings close in age do not learn identical values. Culture is thus transmitted on a… — Lundy Bancroft Children Copy Share Image
“Friends say: “He’s mean.” But she knows many ways in which he has been good to her. Friends say: “He treats you… — Lundy Bancroft Copy Share Image
“THE MYTHS ABOUT ABUSERS 1. He was abused as a child. 2. His previous partner hurt him. 3. He abuses those he… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“Have you ever suffered a sharp disappointment or a painful loss and found yourself looking for someone to blame? Have you, for… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“There certainly are some women who treat their male partners badly, berating them, calling them names, attempting to control them. The negative… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“He knows he used to be able to control you with charm, affection and promises. He also remembers how well intimidation or… — Lundy Bancroft Abuser Copy Share Image
“The confusion of love with abuse is what allows abusers who kill their partners to make the absurd claim that they were… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
Few people are aware of the severe human rights violations committed daily by family court judges across the country. These courts are… — Lundy Bancroft Abusers Copy Share Image
Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once. If he raises a fist; punches… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“Although the typical abusive man works to maintain a positive public image, it is true that some women have abusive partners who… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“There are two main principles to keep in mind when deciding how much potential an abuser has to become a kind, respectful… — Lundy Bancroft Hope for the future Copy Share Image
Objectification is a critical reason why an abuser tends to get worse over time. As his conscience adapts to one level of… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
The central attitudes driving the Water Torturer are: You are crazy. You fly off the handle over nothing. I can easily convince… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“He doesn't object to her sexualization, he just wants to be in control of it, and he wants it oriented towards his… — Lundy Bancroft Parenting Copy Share Image
Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out? Has he ever raised a fist as if he… — Lundy Bancroft Copy Share Image
“When a man starts my program, he often says, “I am here because I lose control of myself sometimes. I need to… — Lundy Bancroft Copy Share Image
“The volatile, abusive, and sometimes dangerous reactions that abusers can have when relationships draw to a close have often been considered, especially… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
Disrespect also can take the form of idealizing you and putting you on a pedestal as a perfect woman or goddess, perhaps… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“The salient point about remorse, however, is that it matters little whether it is genuine or not. Clients who get very sorry after acts… — Lundy Bancroft Change Copy Share Image
“Outside of my professional life, I have known many couples over the years who had passion and electricity between them and who… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
“ALCOHOL HAS NO BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION TO ABUSE OR VIOLENCE Alcohol does not directly make people belligerent, aggressive, or violent. There is evidence… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
An abuser can seem emotionally needy. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless… — Lundy Bancroft Abuse Copy Share Image
