Best Lily Tomlin Quotes
- The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth. Billion
- The road to success is always under construction. Congratulations
- I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Always Wanted
- I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody. Always Wondered
- I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. Appreciation
- If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? Answer
- Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. Among
- The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Drinking
- Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity.… Adult
- If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? Beauty
- No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up. Cynical
- Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. Afraid
- Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic? Funny
- Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Beer
- For fast-acting relief try slowing down. Acting
- Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die… All
- Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. Collective
- The best mind-altering drug is the truth. Altering
- I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. Funny
- If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed. Book
- Remember we're all in this alone. All
- Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination. Feel
- There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic. Becoming
- I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain. Communication
- I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war. From