The thing that's changed the way I do my stand-up act is having kids and getting older and wiser and smarter. There… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I ALWAYS HAVE DONE WELL HOWEVER IN BLUE STATES AND RED STATES. IVE NEVER REALLY ALIGNED MYSELF WITH ALL THAT RED STATE… — Larry the Cable Guy Blue Copy Share Image
'Cars' has been a godsend. I mean, I get paid to talk into a mic. Honestly, I had no idea it would… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Living in a small town you couldn't go anywhere on a Saturday where a store had the game on. If you were… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty… — Larry the Cable Guy Comedy Copy Share Image
MY ACT IS 'NOTHING BUT COMEDY. I TALK SOUTHERN BECAUSE I PICKED IT UP WHEN I MOVED TO THE SOUTH. IM NOT… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I'm a huge NASCAR fan, but I'm not a gearhead. I've never been into fixing cars. It's not because I don't like… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
When I look at my audience, I can tell better who's in the crowd and the kind of joke I shouldn't do.… — Larry the Cable Guy Audience Copy Share Image
I was always a fan of the old-style comics. I loved vaudeville. I loved Milton Berle, Dick Shawn, Phyllis Diller, Don Rickles,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I was always getting in trouble because I was the class clown but I always made teacher laugh. I remember I thought… — Larry the Cable Guy Class Copy Share Image
When I started doing my act, I wasn't married and didn't have kids. I was probably 29 years old. Some people say… — Larry the Cable Guy Idiot Copy Share Image
Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, "Do not… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I just developed my act way back in the late '80s. I went to college in Georgia, so I picked up the… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got… — Larry the Cable Guy Awareness Copy Share Image
THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny.… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
What a piece of garbage this smart car is. There's a commercial - the smart car has zero percent interest for six… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I think probably one of the coolest things was when I went to play basketball at Rucker Park in Harlem. First of… — Larry the Cable Guy Amazing Copy Share Image
I don't have a lot of recreation time. I've always been under the assumption that if you're selling tickets you need to… — Larry the Cable Guy Assumption Copy Share Image
My dad was a non-denominational preacher, actually a Congregationalist which is really where all congregations come to congregate. That's why it's called… — Larry the Cable Guy Congregation Copy Share Image
The only reason I'm ever in character as 'Larry The Cable Guy' is because that's what I'm hired to do. In my… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Some guy came up to me with his kids, ages probably 10 and 12, and said that the reason he likes me… — Larry the Cable Guy Age Copy Share Image
Sanford is a little redneck town north of Orlando. It's right off Lake Jessup.Lake Jessup is the most alligator infested lake in… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've always thought if you don't like what somebody says, don't hang out with that person. Why do you have to complain… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
