Larry the Cable Guy Quotes

14 quotes in 240 categories

• Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling
• I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo
• I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if…
• I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park.
• I don't judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the smartest men in…
• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
• Remember, half the people you know are below average.
• Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people
• We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a…
• I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure…
• Every July, I look forward to taping a Christmas show - in July in Nashville. In 98-degree weather. I love it.
• I'm saying, Come on, the global warming thing? How did the ice melt during the ice ages? Was the dinosaurs driving SUVs around back then?
• I'm so sick of gay this, gay that. I could care less. It ain't affecting my life at all.
• Our whole wedding cost 180 bucks. Afterward, we re-heated lasagna for everyone and set off fireworks.

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