It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Man was created a little lower than the angels and has bin getting a little lower ever since. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
It's not the things you don't know that fool you. It's the things you do know that ain't so. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
There are only two qualities in the world: efficiency and inefficiency; and only two sorts of people: the efficient and the inefficient. — Josh Billings Efficiency Copy Share Image
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf… — Josh Billings Bread Copy Share Image
Love is like the measles; we can't have it bad but once, and the later in life we have it the tougher… — Josh Billings Later in life Copy Share Image
Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words. — Josh Billings Hunting Copy Share Image
Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to. — Josh Billings Advice Copy Share Image
Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Seneca devoted much of his time to writing essays in praise of poverty, and in lending money at usurious rates. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow; if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. — Josh Billings Funny Copy Share Image
Our continual desire for praise ought to convince us of our mortality, if nothing else will. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition. — Josh Billings Business Copy Share Image
There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister. — Josh Billings Endearment Copy Share Image
It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven — Josh Billings Clever Copy Share Image
The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
There is no limit to the vanity of this world. Each spoke in the wheel thinks the whole strength of the wheel… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better… — Josh Billings Fool Copy Share Image
I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
I never had a man come to me for advice yet, but what I soon discovered that he thought more of his… — Josh Billings Advice Copy Share Image
When a young man begins to go down hill everything seems to be greased for the occasion. — Josh Billings Hills Copy Share Image
A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost-he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all… — Josh Billings Animal Copy Share Image
It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
It AIN'T so much the things we don't know that get us into trouble. It's the things we know that just ain't… — Josh Billings Inspirational Copy Share Image
Prejudice is a house-plant which is very apt to wilt if you take it out-of-doors among folks. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
I hate to be a kicker, I always long for peace, But the wheel that does the squeaking, is the one that… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
...But why discourse Upon the Virtues of the Horse? They are too numerous to tell Save when you have a Horse to… — Josh Billings Character Copy Share Image
As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. — Josh Billings Exaggeration Copy Share Image
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors. — Josh Billings God Copy Share Image
Men are seldom underrated; the mercury in a man finds its true level in the eyes of the world just as certainly… — Josh Billings Appreciation Copy Share Image
I hold that a man has as much right to spell a word as it is pronounced as he has to pronounce… — Josh Billings Men Copy Share Image
If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety. — Josh Billings Faith Copy Share Image
Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first. — Josh Billings Beautiful morning Copy Share Image
Too many individuals are like Shakespeare's definition of "echo,"--babbling gossips of the air. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If mankind were only just what they pretend to be, the problem of the millennium would be immediately solved. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
