Best Josh Billings Lines
- Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb. All
- Silence is said to be golden, but the best fools the world has ever produced had nothing to say on the subject Best
- The less we know the more we suspect Funny
- I would much rather always look forward to the time when I am going to ride in a carriage, than to look back on the… Always Look
- Pity cost nothing and ain't worth nothing. Cost
- It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow. Bite
- It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose… Anybody
- What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul I suppose this depends somewhat upon the size… Cases
- Keep a cow, and the milk won't have to be watered but once. Cow
- I've never known an auctioneer to lie unless it was absolutely necessary. Absolutely
- A slander is like a hornet; if you cannot kill it dead at the first blow, better not to strike at it. Better
- A wise man never enjoys himself so much, nor a fool so little, as when alone. Alone
- Fashion makes fools of some, sinners of others, and slaves of all. All
- People who have nothing to say are never at a loss in talking. Inspirational
- Music wasn't made to make us wise, but better natured. Better
- Most everyone seems willing to be a fool himself, but he can't bear to have anyone else one. Anyone
- The dog that will follow everbody ain't worth a curse. Curse
- The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other. Adapted
- Take the selfishness out of this world and there would be more happiness than we should know what to do with. Happiness
- It's not ignorance does so much damage; it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so. Damage
- Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to. Bull
- When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime. Conversation
- Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies. Experience
- The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide. Buzzards
- Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool. Belief
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