Best Josh Billings Quotes
- Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe. Awake
- Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius. Common
- Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. Board
- Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. All
- Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined. Any
- Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors. God
- There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it. Enjoy
- If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own… All
- The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm. Angleworm
- Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. Buy
- Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. Especially
- There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. Editing
- It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I… Age
- It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. Commit
- As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. Anti War
- Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. Bank
- A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. Bore
- A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. Associates
- The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. Anxiety
- Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit. All
- The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it. Expense
- I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. Age
- If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. Die
- If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety. Any
- Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. Blind
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