All Jonathan Swift Quotes
- Punning is an art of harmonious jingling upon words, which, passing in at the ears, excites a titillary motion in those parts; and this, being… Animal
- I'm as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth. Inspirational
- Seamen have a custom, when they meet a whale, to fling him out an empty tub by way of amusement, to divert him from laying… Amusement
- There's none so blind as they that won't see. Blind
- How is it possible to expect that mankind will take advice when they will not so much as take warning. Advice
- Falsehood flies, and the truth comes limping after it. Falsehood
- Those dreams that on the silent night intrude, and with false flitting shapes our minds delude ... are mere productions of the brain. And fools… Brain
- But you think that it is time for me to have done with the world, and so I would if I could get into a… Best
- Wise people are never less alone than when they are alone. Alone
- For want of a block, man will stumble at a straw. Block
- It often happens that, if a lie be believed only for an hour, it has done its work, and there is no further occasion for… Belief
- An atheist has got one point beyond the devil. Atheist
- What vexes me most is, that my female friends, who could bear me very well a dozen years ago, have now forsaken me, although I… Age
- The reason why so few marriages are happy is because young ladies spend their time in making nets, not in making cages. Cages
- I've often wish'd that I had clear, For life, six hundred pounds a year; A handsome house to lodge a friend; A river at my… Clear
- She 's no chicken; she 's on the wrong side of thirty, if she be a day. Chicken
- If a lump of soot falls into the soup and you cannot conveniently get it out, stir it well in and it will give the… Conveniently
- 'T is an old maxim in the schools, That flattery 's the food of fools; Yet now and then your men of wit Will condescend… Bit
- If they would, for Example, praise the Beauty of a Woman, or any other Animal, they describe it by Rhombs, Circles, Parallelograms, Ellipses, and other… Animal
- It is likewise to be observed that this society hath a peculiar chant and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and… All
- Brutes find out where their talents lie; A bear will not attempt to fly, A foundered horse will oft debate Before he tries a five… Absurdly
- A ridiculous passion which hath no being but in play-books and romances. Book
- Pray steal me not, I'm Mrs. Dingley's, Whose heart in this four-footed thing lies. Dog
- For to enter the palace of learning at the great gate requires an expense of time and forms, therefore men of much haste and little… Back Door
- When I am reading a book, whether wise or silly, it seems to me to be alive and talking to me. Alive