“You know, I don't believe they noticed I had murdered them. I really don't. They just seemed faintly put out, as if… — Jonathan L. Howard Bad luck Copy Share Image
“The Mayor of Murslaugh was a jolly, ebullient man of the sort who, in a well-ordered world, would be called Fezziwig. That… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“As the barman’s hand rose from beneath the bar, Cabal was filled with a presentiment and a strange foreboding that he hadn’t… — Jonathan L. Howard Cthulhu Copy Share Image
“Do shut your mouth--you'll catch flies sitting there like that.” — Jonathan L. Howard Humor Copy Share Image
“... the first few minutes of a person's death are the most vitally important minutes of opportunity for a necromancer, [so] Cabal… — Jonathan L. Howard Death Copy Share Image
“He's painted himself into a corner and a thousand lazy reporters and ever-so-sincere politicians had rendered the only word that he could… — Jonathan L. Howard Politics Copy Share Image
“Lo!" cried the demon. "I am here! What dost thou seek of me? Why dost thou disturb my repose? Smite me no… — Jonathan L. Howard Demon Copy Share Image
“He found Satan on his throne in the cavern of lava, reading a large-print edition of Wheatley’s The Satanist . 'It’s a… — Jonathan L. Howard Books Copy Share Image
“he came into the store to threaten you with math and philosophy. The motherfucker’s going down.” — Jonathan L. Howard Mathematics Copy Share Image
“Allow me to refresh your obviously faulty memories. I allow you to stay within my front garden on the understanding that you… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“Admittedly, given the Dreamland's tendency towards the dramatic, should any ship come to the island it would probably be full of cannibalistic… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“Cabal dimly recalled that the musical genius who'd decided to put on Necronomicon: The Musical had got everything he deserved: money, fame,… — Jonathan L. Howard Money Copy Share Image
“You wish to isolate fear. Ah, well, if only I'd realised your ambitions were so simple. Perhaps we can work up to… — Jonathan L. Howard Faith Copy Share Image
“Real history was unromantic, steeped in greed and blood and abject eye-rolling stupidity. An endless parade of putative Ozymandiases marching off to… — Jonathan L. Howard History Copy Share Image
“This is Hell," he tried to explain for the third time. "Not a drop-in centre. You can't just turn up and say,… — Jonathan L. Howard Right now Copy Share Image
“It's a philosophical minefield!" Cabal had a brief mental image of Aristotle walking halfway across an open field before unexpectedly disappearing in… — Jonathan L. Howard Humor Copy Share Image
“Lesson one: expect to get screwed over for the convenience of others on a regular basis.” — Jonathan L. Howard Teen Copy Share Image
“Now, let us consider the life of Johannes Cabal, if briefly. He is closing on his thirtieth year and is ageing better… — Jonathan L. Howard Life Copy Share Image
“The lesson seemed to be twofold: do not anger the gods, but if you must, at least make sure your city isn't… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“Your argument is as specious as it is fallacious. I do not give a damn that we have crossed a sea to… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“It was a lot less pleasant than travel via a discorporated poet.” — Jonathan L. Howard Poetry Copy Share Image
“You're familiar with the theory of evolution?" asked Cabal. "Sir?" "They're about to find out why intelligence is a survival trait.” — Jonathan L. Howard Biology Copy Share Image
“Cabal regarded her with mild amusement. “Smile when you whisper,” he advised her. “You’re supposed to be flirting with me, if you… — Jonathan L. Howard Johannes-cabal Copy Share Image
