“Life is unfair and there are winners and losers, regardless of how much overprotective parents attempt to shield their offspring from reality.” — Jen Lancaster Fair Copy Share Image
“You want to change? Lose the bitch. Be nicer to people. Stop telling them to "bite you" and threatening to kick them… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I… — Jen Lancaster Baby Copy Share Image
As a reader, I notice political views regardless of whether or not the book is fiction. What annoys me is when said… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“So now I'm getting my gown made by an exclusive seamstress, and all thos anorexic whores on Michigan Avenue and Oak Street… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“I bet if I spent less time with the television and more time pursuing activities that enhance my life and expand my… — Jen Lancaster Business Copy Share Image
“You know what? We need a recession in this country, because that would finally weed out all the subnormal, underdeveloped, stupefied, puerile… — Jen Lancaster Recession Copy Share Image
This is terrific! What fun! Maybe tomorrow I can go to the prom with my brother. The day after, perhaps I can… — Jen Lancaster Brother Copy Share Image
I never ever, ever say anything against my husband to anyone except my husband. Everyone gets in fights, and I think the… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
Seriously, our nation is never going to be on the same page on issues like gun control, welfare, the economy, the environment,… — Jen Lancaster Doubt Copy Share Image
When I hug her, I notice she's still wearing yesterday's false eyelashes. Mom? You know those come off with a little makeup… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
The best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously. Do I miss the package I came in at 25?… — Jen Lancaster Best things Copy Share Image
Although I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“You know why I love HGTV? It's not just that I get a peek into other people's lives. It's that everyone's always… — Jen Lancaster End result Copy Share Image
Quinn Cummings is a master story-teller and her book is nothing short of delightful. Her insights into topics like celebrity, parenting, and… — Jen Lancaster Book Copy Share Image
“I have to pause the video while I corral the dogs in the other room. They howl in protest, and I tell… — Jen Lancaster Life Copy Share Image
“I feel like my takeaway from tonight is that it's okay to love shitty television, provided that you make an effort to… — Jen Lancaster Television Copy Share Image
I can't believe anyone would voluntarily run 26 miles. Sometimes I sit on the couch cross-legged because I don't feel like walking… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“Reality television gave me an amazing feeling of moral and intellectual superiority without actually requiring any effort past moving the dogs to… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
