Writing is something that I've always loved. That stems from my love of being a reader. — Jen Lancaster Books Copy Share Image
“Yeah, I'm over forty, flighty, and fluffy- I'd say I'm not ideal bouncer material.” — Jen Lancaster Humor Copy Share Image
I think people tend to be very myopic and they don't understand how their actions impact others. — Jen Lancaster Actions Copy Share Image
Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
In real life, I tend to yell at people a lot. Not because I'm bossy or mean, but because I'm frustrated. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
You can't all of a sudden go to sleep one night and wake up Martha Stewart. It's bit by bit by bit. — Jen Lancaster Going to sleep Copy Share Image
I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out on New Year's Eve. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
I'm very detail oriented. I think that's why people enjoy my memoirs - because I tend to remember everything. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“What's funny is the act of cleaning out my desk takes an hour, yet I've been dreading it for so many damn… — Jen Lancaster Time wasted Copy Share Image
Fletch then kisses me on the forehead before opening the cabinet under the coffeemaker to grab placemats and napkins. Retrieving these items… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“I mean, six years ago my electricity's being cut off and my car's getting repossessed and I'm being evicted from my apartment,… — Jen Lancaster Evicted Copy Share Image
I don't care how happily married you are or how deeply enmeshed you are with your children and family and career --… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“When she gets rattled, the South really comes out. Once when Daddy tried to cancel our country club membership because he said… — Jen Lancaster Culture Copy Share Image
“Except for thinking up reasons I’m allowed to skip the gym, my schedule is almost totally empty. (Today’s reason is because I… — Jen Lancaster Gym Copy Share Image
I've determined the ideal job for me is one where I can write clever essays about my life and my employer will… — Jen Lancaster Clever Copy Share Image
I don't mean to get all religious here, but I'm pretty sure key lime martinis (with a graham cracker & sugar rim)… — Jen Lancaster Crackers Copy Share Image
The living room is a monument to my impulsive spending habits. I've got more than two hundred DVDs, including cinematic greats such… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“Fletch is back from Austin, and turns out what sounded great on paper didn't match up to reality. He says its so… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“If I were a lesbian and had a thing for narcissistic ex-sorority girls? I’d totally do me." Bitter is the New Black:… — Jen Lancaster Lesbian Copy Share Image
“I love the French and Italian church paintings from the Middle Ages. But I'm also interested to learn more about who was… — Jen Lancaster Art Copy Share Image
“But ever since I made the decision to drop a few pounds-way less easy than it sounds, by the way-I've become obsessed… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“If you're anorexic, you're doing it wrong." I swat him with a dish towel. "No, no, I mean anorexics look in the… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“...Ever since I made the decision to drop a few pounds—way less easy than it sounds, by the way—I’ve become obsessed with… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
I’m instantly mortified by my fat, uncontrollable mouth, but that’s when it occurs to me that my humor is a self-defense mechanism.… — Jen Lancaster Ability Copy Share Image
“The second prong in my revised Trinity is IKEA, the Swedish home store monolith. If you're unfamiliar, they carry every single thing… — Jen Lancaster Furniture Copy Share Image
I've always been able to cook Italian food. That's in my blood because I'm half Sicilian. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
Point? Maybe you aren't a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda. Maybe you're just you. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
I'm the person who says every single thing she thinks, sometimes to others' amusement, and almost always to my detriment. — Jen Lancaster Amusement Copy Share Image
Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning... — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
I think people tend to be very myopic and they dont understand how their actions impact others. — Jen Lancaster Action Copy Share Image
I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a… — Jen Lancaster Fitness Copy Share Image
“Forgive the cliche, but friends are truly the family you choose.” — Jen Lancaster Family Copy Share Image
“I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out in New Year's Eve.” — Jen Lancaster Smear Copy Share Image
I never sleep on the plane. I have to be awake and using my mind power to keep it in the air — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“donut can give you the kind of hug from inside that celery just can’t muster.” — Jen Lancaster Donut Copy Share Image
I'm such a fangirl when it comes to other writers. I read 250 books a year, and I'm always talking up books… — Jen Lancaster Book Copy Share Image
