Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS. — Jen Lancaster Food Copy Share Image
I think people tend to be very myopic and they don't understand how their actions impact others. — Jen Lancaster Actions Copy Share Image
“Yeah, I'm over forty, flighty, and fluffy- I'd say I'm not ideal bouncer material.” — Jen Lancaster Humor Copy Share Image
No matter how happy anyone is with their choices, I believe it's human nature to wonder about the path not taken. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
Some people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light. — Jen Lancaster Comedy Copy Share Image
Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
Expressing political opinion can be a powerful way to establish a character's voice when writing fiction. — Jen Lancaster Character Copy Share Image
I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to… — Jen Lancaster Depth Copy Share Image
Despite my best efforts, I'm not quite perfect. Let's just say I'm like one of those Hopi blankets where they leave a… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“You know what? We need a recession in this country, because that would finaly weed out al the subnormal, underdeveloped, stupefied, puerile… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
As I examine my life through this book, I can't help but wonder if my mother was right. Maybe I really was… — Jen Lancaster Book Copy Share Image
“Hell hath no fury like a middle-aged woman in a fuzzy pink robe, hopped up on a winning combination of allergy medicine,… — Jen Lancaster Anger Copy Share Image
“If you're in the midst of a midlife crisis, you could buy a convertible, have an affair, or upgrade your cup size.… — Jen Lancaster Animal Copy Share Image
“But there's always a chance she's hiding a flask and a Nixon-esque Enemies List in her pinafore apron, which is exactly why… — Jen Lancaster Friend Copy Share Image
Amen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse.… — Jen Lancaster Amen Copy Share Image
“Cost to clean deeply soiled rugs: $200. Cost to replace shiny, black, stack-heeled, pilgrim-toed boots: $185. Cost to fix every single delicious… — Jen Lancaster Humor Copy Share Image
I’m busy sorting through our new collection of rhinestone jewelry. Should anyone be in the market for sparkly accessories the size of… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“Presently, Mary Mac—that’s what we call her for short—has churned out more kids than I can count. It’s like she’s a hoarder,… — Jen Lancaster Children Copy Share Image
Quinn Cummings is a master story-teller and her book is nothing short of delightful. Her insights into topics like celebrity, parenting, and… — Jen Lancaster Book Copy Share Image
“I have to pause the video while I corral the dogs in the other room. They howl in protest, and I tell… — Jen Lancaster Life Copy Share Image
The best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously. Do I miss the package I came in at 25?… — Jen Lancaster Best things Copy Share Image
“You know why I love HGTV? It's not just that I get a peek into other people's lives. It's that everyone's always… — Jen Lancaster End result Copy Share Image
Although I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
I never ever, ever say anything against my husband to anyone except my husband. Everyone gets in fights, and I think the… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“I HAVE to stay here. I simply have to. To be honest, too much of my identity comes from possessing this space.… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“donut can give you the kind of hug from inside that celery just can’t muster.” — Jen Lancaster Donut Copy Share Image
I'm such a fangirl when it comes to other writers. I read 250 books a year, and I'm always talking up books… — Jen Lancaster Book Copy Share Image
You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a… — Jen Lancaster Fitness Copy Share Image
I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“Forgive the cliche, but friends are truly the family you choose.” — Jen Lancaster Family Copy Share Image
I never sleep on the plane. I have to be awake and using my mind power to keep it in the air — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out in New Year's Eve.” — Jen Lancaster Smear Copy Share Image
I'm the person who says every single thing she thinks, sometimes to others' amusement, and almost always to my detriment. — Jen Lancaster Amusement Copy Share Image
Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
I think people tend to be very myopic and they dont understand how their actions impact others. — Jen Lancaster Action Copy Share Image
No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning... — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
Point? Maybe you aren't a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda. Maybe you're just you. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
I've always been able to cook Italian food. That's in my blood because I'm half Sicilian. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
