Hank Hill Quotes

30 quotes in 288 categories

• There's a spoon stuck to your elbow. Do you even know that?
• If your sorority has to sell jam to buy beer, you're drinking too much.
• If Bobby doesn't love football, he won't lead a fulfilling life, and then he'll die.
• I'm not saying you're not good at what you do. I'm just saying I'm better.
• I am the mac daddy of Hiemlich County.
• Bobby, you go pick something from the adventure section....anything about a boy with gumption should be fine.
• Dale, you giblet head!
• Disappointment? No! You make me proud! I've been disappointed by just about everything else in this town, but you? Not once. Damn it, you're my…
• Dangit, Bobby!!!
• Son, you're teasin' the gorilla in the monkey house.
• I sell propane and propane accessories.
• Butane is the bastard gas.
• I'm your biggest fan, sir. When I was a boy I worshiped you....and Jesus of course.
• You know, Helen Keller was largely useless, but look how we remember her. Yep, first lady of the American stage
• You know, that special time in a girls life..with the freshness and all...
• So are you Chinese or Japanese?
• No got dang way, Bobby!
• Bobby, from now on when I ask you how your day was, what I mean is 'how was shop'?
• If you'd like to learn more about sexual education, don't! Nobody likes a know-it-all who sits around talking about their genitalia. Now, I think you…
• Worker's comp? Do I look like a hobo to you? No, sir, I am not going on welfare.

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