“It felt a bit like French kissing an old lady; all the right moves, but in totally the wrong places.” — Graham Parke Old lady Copy Share Image
“standing in front of a building, then not meeting up with a woman, but instead following her home at a distance, that’d… — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“I knew I should’ve started stalking her first! Damn my not-so-devious brain. When would I learn that women don’t go for nice… — Graham Parke Nice guys Copy Share Image
“Theorized about the possibilities of solving a 500 piece puzzle in one go, simply by taking the pieces from the box in… — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“Monday night. Couldn’t sleep. Sounded like my downstairs neighbor was drilling thousands of tiny holes in his ceiling.” — Graham Parke Monday night Copy Share Image
“he’s still dead, but he died this morning rather than last night.” She held up her hand with a small amount of… — Graham Parke Last night Copy Share Image
“I think it’s better for customer relations if we all commit to wearing matching socks,” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“Dug up a die and threw it 72 times. Aimed to get as high a total as possible. Tallied the throws knowing… — Graham Parke Time Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I'm so smart, I almost feel like a real person.” — Graham Parke Intelligence Copy Share Image
“I was good at creeping around people’s backyards, at night, unseen.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“At precisely 4:22 a.m. I awoke to the sound of hamsters being stir-fried in a large enameled wok.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“Toyed with the idea of letting it go to voicemail, then remembered the sick messages the phone-sex salesman had been leaving me,” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“what tipped me off was the pink nighty I was wearing and the abundance of flowers decorating my room.” — Graham Parke Flower Copy Share Image
“what was it they called you? It’s on the tip of my tongue. It was something to do with cats and large… — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“Gravity has a slightly stronger hold on me than it does on other people. I’m sure of it. It pulls on me… — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“I make sure to always have some spinach between my teeth so people are disinclined to bother me. Survival strategies for the… — Graham Parke Survival Copy Share Image
“Want to pick up that check, honey? And I’d say; Nope, why don’t you pick up that check and add another fifty… — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“She’s funny and intelligent, well-mannered and clean, and her smile is exceedingly cute. Also, she has big tits.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“It's finally happened; scientists claim to have discovered the very first person in history who doesn't like french fries. Just imagine the… — Graham Parke First person Copy Share Image
“The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn’t even check for traffic. There wasn’t any, but something told me this was lucky… — Graham Parke Comedy Copy Share Image
