Fred Allen Quotes
98 quotes
in 1136 categories
-
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
-
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
-
It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each…
-
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a…
-
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
-
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
-
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
-
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
-
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.
-
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
-
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
-
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
-
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
-
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
-
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be…
-
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a…
-
I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.
-
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
-
Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
-
An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with…
Browse Fred Allen Quotes by Category