Denis Leary Quotes

171 quotes in 2138 categories

• Is it possible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? What happened with coffee? Did I miss a meeting? They have…
• We drink and we die and continue to drink.
• We didn't have rehab back in the Seventies. Back in the Seventies, rehab meant you stopped doing coke, but you kept smoking pot and drinking…
• The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I…
• Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup. That's all it needs! Maybe a saucer underneath the cup — that's it.
• There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete…
• I'm the enemy because I like to think. I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of…
• All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.
• Everyone should have an evil secret plan...
• If the world somehow actually ends tomorrow, let all forget about the Mayans and just agree it`s the NHL`s fault
• Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad
• What I've learned is that life is too short and movies are too long.
• Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself.
• Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.
• You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.
• Elvis and I call up Cadillac dealerships all night long, suckin' down Ny Quil stingers and cheese. He says, what the hell's Lisa Marie thinking…
• Sometimes I park in handicap spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces.
• There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance.
• Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I'm the maid in my house.
• When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical world, like with…

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