Deborah Tannen

“At every age, the girls and women sit closer to each other and look at each other directly. At every age, the…

— Deborah Tannen

“But the manner of giving voice to thoughts and feelings becomes particularly significant in the case of negative feelings or doubts about…

— Deborah Tannen

“For girls, talk is the glue that holds relationships together. Boys' relationships are held together primarily by activities: doing things together, or…

— Deborah Tannen

We all know we are unique individuals, but we tend to see others as representatives of groups.

— Deborah Tannen

“Penelope Eckert, who observed boys and girls in high school, points out that boys define their social status in a simple and…

— Deborah Tannen

We tend to look through language and not realize how much power language has

— Deborah Tannen

Girls are not accustomed to jockeying for status in an obvious way; they are more concerned that they be liked.

— Deborah Tannen

Critiquing relieves you of the responsibility of doing integrative thinking.

— Deborah Tannen

“Philip Blumstein and Pepper Schwartz, in their study American Couples, found that lesbians have sex less often than gay men and heterosexual…

— Deborah Tannen

“If I wrote, 'After delivering the acceptance speech, the candidate fainted,' you would know I was talking about a woman. Men do…

— Deborah Tannen

When people realize that in the long run you may be turning off the audiences more, even though they will look temporarily--in…

— Deborah Tannen

Some days you just want to get dressed and go about your business. But if you're a woman, you can't, because there…

— Deborah Tannen

The Pavlovian view of women voters - plug the words in, and they will respond - sends a chill down my spine…

— Deborah Tannen

It's our tendency to approach every problem as if it were a fight between two sides. We see it in headlines that…

— Deborah Tannen

The key to conversation at work is flexibility and understanding how what you say might be perceived by others.

— Deborah Tannen

Part of the reason images of women in positions of authority are marked by their gender is that the very notion of…

— Deborah Tannen

The allure of love is to have someone who knows you so well that you don't have to explain yourself. It is…

— Deborah Tannen

“Maybe most of all, Karl is like family because of how I feel when I'm around him: completely and unself-consciously myself.”

— Deborah Tannen

The one who decides who goes ahead has the upper hand, regardless of who gets to go. This is why many women…

— Deborah Tannen

“Yet another man commented that women seem to wallow in their problems, wanting to talk about them forever, whereas he and other…

— Deborah Tannen

The argument culture urges us to approach the world-and the people in it-in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the…

— Deborah Tannen

Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as saying that women talk…

— Deborah Tannen

All communication is more or less cross-cultural. We learn to use language as we grow up, and growing up in different parts…

— Deborah Tannen

It can be the best of relationships and the worst of relationships - often at the same time. The bond between a…

— Deborah Tannen

“One man commented that he and I seemed to have different definitions of gossip. He said, 'To you it seems to be…

— Deborah Tannen