David Spade Quotes

34 quotes in 347 categories

• In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.
• A friend of Nicole Ritchie told the New York Post that Nicole is definitely pregnant.
• I think the chances are better of me putting Super Unleaded into a rented car.
• Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, 'That guy sucks! Have…
• I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
• I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right…
• It's funny because it's funny.
• It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out.…
• My career is just kind of crazy.
• To be famous and broke is hard.
• The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a…
• I have no detectable hair style.
• There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all.
• There's always something funny about men chasing women.
• Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic.
• I feel like I've got this anti-marriage thing, but it's less that and more I'm overthinking it to get it right.
• I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
• I never dated much in high school or college.
• I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.
• I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.

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