Colin Mochrie Quotes

57 quotes in 765 categories

• My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.
• Famous Playboy Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to…
• Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.
• Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, dead at 53. Over Barcelona today, the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report,…
• After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.
• Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me
• Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!
• And if that isnt the truth, it would be a lie.
• I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned.
• I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'
• I have many favorite artists...Van Gough as one, but he didn't really sing a lot!
• I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.
• It all started with a badly timed bald joke!
• There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so…
• Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?
• You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo…
• Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.
• Please call your second witness, and then call your mother, she worries.
• Hey, come on, I've seen younger faces on money. Money.
• He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky…

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