All Clive James Quotes
- Jimmy Connors likes the ball to come at him in a straight line, so that he can hit it back in another straight line. When… Another Straight
- Like a Volvo, Bjorn Borg is rugged, has good after-sales service, and is very dull. Bjorn
- John McEnroe has hair like badly turned broccoli. Badly
- John McEnroe looks as if he is serving round the edge of an imaginary building. Building
- The Benson and Hedges Cup was won by McEnroe ... he was as charming as always, which means that he was as charming as a… Benson
- A loose horse is any horse sensible enough to get rid of its rider at an early stage and carry on unencumbered. Any
- They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available. Attack
- Murray sounds like a blindfolded man riding a unicycle on the rim of the pit of doom, the men actually facing the danger are all… Actually Facing
- Every sentence he manages to utter scatters its component parts like pond water from a verb chasing its own tail. Chasing
- Delivering the State of the Union? That bloke couldn't deliver pizza. Bloke
- A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't Absurd
- His pear-shaped head, I could now see, was situated on top of a pear-shaped body, which his black gown caused to resemble a piece of… Black
- It is almost better to be an impulse shirt-buyer than an impulse shoe-buyer. I have worn shirts that made people think I was a retired… Almost Better
- The entrée wasn't tender enough to be a paving stone and the gravy couldn't have been primordial soup because morphogenesis was already taking place. Already Taking
- The repeat run of Fawlty Towers drew bigger audiences than ever and deservedly so. Statistical surveys reveal that only the television critic of The Spectator… Audience
- Twin miracles of mascara, her eyes looked like the corpses of two small crows that had crashed into a chalk cliff. Chalk
- First-rate science fiction was, and remains, more interesting than second-rate art. Art
- I was wrong, however, to suppose that Sellers thought the world revolved around him. He thought the cosmos did too, and history, and the fates...… Behaved
- Beyoncé and pathos are strangers. Amy Winehouse and pathos are flatmates, and you should see the kitchen. Amy
- One of the virtues of the NHS... it doesn't worry you about money at the moment when you're least capable of doing anything about it. Capable
- I was brought up on the proletarian left, and I remain there. The fair go for workers is fundamental, and I don't believe the free… Believe
- Experts say men think of sex every 10 seconds... What do they think of in the other nine? Classic
- The thing about making a documentary in Las Vegas is there isn't much to film apart from other people making documentaries about Las Vegas. Apart
- She wasn't just beautiful. She was like the sun coming up: coming up giggling. She was giggling as if she had just remembered something funny. Beautiful
- I work on the assumption, or let it be the fear, that the reader will stop reading if I stop being interesting. Assumption