Carlin Whisler Quotes
- If the beauty behind your eyes were the sun the world would have a lot more to look forward to Beauty
- As you will find in multivariabe calculus, there's aften a number of solutions for any given problem. Aften
- Mathematics is always going to lead you to a higher truth. never memorize yourself with the weaker assumptions of lesser morals Always Going
- I hate when they use fake dinosaurs in movies.. I can always tell... Always Tell
- What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave??? The microwave doesn't brown your sausage Brown
- My doctor was checking my balls for lumps the other day, I think it got awkward when I ran my fingers through his hair.. Awkward
- A man walks up to a woman in the bar and says, you're gonna get laid tonight. quite surprised, she replies are you a psychic?… Bar
- I wonder how long it takes a giraffe to puke Funny Quote
- I have spent my entire life Like it was my rear view mirror my car. And every once in awhile, I always thought it would… Always Thought
- It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt because I was… All
- I like to put things back where I got them from when I am done using them...so I dropped your mom off at the bar. Bar
- I wanna go to seaworld With a fishing pole just to see what peoples reactions would be Fishing
- You just think you got game because You slept with your high school teacher.. but I won't bother to bring up the fact that you're… Bother
- That's more messed up than that time I made out with that hobo.. Funny Quote
- I've heard more coherent things out of a schizophrenic with threats Coherent
- I could eat a whole bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a more coherent statement than that. Alphabet
- Why did Princes Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt. Cross
- Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take… Advice
- Your makeup looks like you put it on with a shotgun Looks Like
- Did you put your makeup on with a paint brush? or does your face always look like it was gang banged by crayola? Always Look