Carl Hiaasen

One problem with age is that patience begins to ebb.

— Carl Hiaasen

The Thieves of Manhattan is a sly and cutting riff on the book-publishing world that is quite funny unless you happen to…

— Carl Hiaasen

To me, the newspaper business was a way to learn about life and how things worked in the real world and how…

— Carl Hiaasen

The one thing a lifetime in the newspaper business teaches you is pace - you spend all your time trying to make…

— Carl Hiaasen

I think in the old days, the nexus of weirdness ran through Southern California, and to a degree New York City. I…

— Carl Hiaasen

“Avila failed to see irony in the fact that corruptly incompetent building inspections were a chief reason that so many roofs had…

— Carl Hiaasen

We've always been fascinated with movie stars and singers, but the fascination with people who really have nothing to offer is something…

— Carl Hiaasen

“The innards of Ping’s G5 were supposedly computer-engineered with a process called “finite-element analysis,” a term that for all I know was…

— Carl Hiaasen

“It was inevitable that the poacher and the counterfeiter would bond, sharing as they did a blanket contempt for government, taxes, homosexuals,…

— Carl Hiaasen

Y'see, I get so bored so easily. I like to start with a clean slate each time. Sure, I'll have characters drop…

— Carl Hiaasen

I was born and raised here [in Florida], so I still have tremendous affection for the state - especially the few wild…

— Carl Hiaasen

“My father's a large man, very strong, but he says fighting is for people who can't win with their brains. He also…

— Carl Hiaasen

“A big farming operation like his was a challenging enterprise, relying as it did on rampant pollution and the systematic mistreatment of…

— Carl Hiaasen

Unfortunately for novelists, real life is getting way too funny and far-fetched.

— Carl Hiaasen

Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God…

— Carl Hiaasen

Ironically, I come from a family of lawyers - my dad, my grandfather, and now my oldest son. And some of my…

— Carl Hiaasen

I've never before had the same main character appear in consecutive novels, but I liked Yancy and his attitude, and I was…

— Carl Hiaasen

“The vandals didn’t stand a chance against five hundred–odd pounds of badass dog flesh. They”

— Carl Hiaasen

The TV commercials, which are endless and fairly crass, gave birth to Brock, the bad-lawyer character in Razor Girl. In real life…

— Carl Hiaasen

“Coroners made Al Garcia jumpy; they always got so cheery when somebody came up with a fresh way to die.”

— Carl Hiaasen

“The dog proved to be as dumb and stubborn as a mud fence, so Stranahan had named him Strom.”

— Carl Hiaasen

I love reality shows. The folks who dream up some of these concepts are either geniuses, or totally stoned.

— Carl Hiaasen

Lots of people can write a good first page but to sustain it, that's my litmus test. If I flip to the…

— Carl Hiaasen

and in the meantime don't jump to conclusions.

— Carl Hiaasen

It's actually not very hard to re-set between the adult novels and the ones for younger readers. The narrative voices are very…

— Carl Hiaasen