Calvin Trillin Quotes

74 quotes in 987 categories

• Even today, well-brought-up English girls are taught by their mothers to boil all veggies for at least a month and a half, just in case…
• Marriage is part of a sort of 50′s revival package that's back in vogue along with neckties and naked ambition.
• Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat)…
• The margin of error in astrology is plus or minus one hundred percent.
• "Law professors were never like economics professors," a Harvard Law professor told me. "If you disagreed with someone, you didn't call him a fool."
• The average trade book has a shelf life of between milk and yogurt, except for books by any member of the Irving Wallace family -…
• Anybody who doesn't think that the best hamburger place in teh world is in his home town is a sissy.
• Avoid restaurants with names that are improbable descriptions, such as the Purple Goose, the Blue Kangaroo or the Quilted Orangutan.
• I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.
• It happens to be a matter of record that I was first in print with the discovery that the tastelessness of the food offered in…
• The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep…
• Irving Wallace family - they have preservatives.
• When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people who…
• Do my ears deceive me, or can I actually hear the sounds of worms turning? You say a turning worm makes no sound? But how…
• I suppose it's possible that the Sundance Kid didn't like to make much of his birthdays — they may have struck him as just another…
• As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
• Once, in Lisbon, I tried my best to work the phone book in a way that would assuage a longing [Alice and I] had for…
• Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in.
• Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.
• I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed.

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