“Like somebody who was just happy because there was macaroni and cheese in the world.” — Augusten Burroughs Food Copy Share Image
I don't believe in the concept of a soul mate. Because we are all unique, but we're also simply too similar. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“If you're gay and live in New York and don't go to gym, eventually they come for you.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I'm an imposter. The fact is, I am not like other people. — Augusten Burroughs Facts Copy Share Image
Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“I wish Rick would be gang-raped by a bunch of Muslim garbage collectors.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“I said all the wrong things. Except when I was busy saying all the mean ones and in the end I hated… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I realized I could really become hooked on these happy pills. They gave me a glorious feeling of general well-being and didn't… — Augusten Burroughs Alcohol Copy Share Image
“I referred albums to the more modern eight tracks. Albums came with sleeves which reminded me of clean underwear. Plus, the pictures… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered… — Augusten Burroughs Genius Copy Share Image
I'm grateful for a lot of things. One is not being a drunk wreck. Or losing all four limbs in some ridiculous… — Augusten Burroughs Accident Copy Share Image
I was struck with a bolt of distilled horror like I have never known before. Far worse than suddenly finding yourself walking… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
And I began to let him go. Hour by hour. Days into months. It was a physical sensation, like letting out the… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Any damage that's been done, you have to fix yourself because it needs fixing and there is nobody else to do the… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I was on the cover of a lot of newspapers. I was on the cover of USA Today for every single day… — Augusten Burroughs America Copy Share Image
“After Olestra (may cause anal leakage), people are a tad suspicious about products that do things that are too good to be… — Augusten Burroughs Leakage Copy Share Image
I never question the way I write. Writing is the only thing that's without seams for me. It's an effort to talk… — Augusten Burroughs Alive Copy Share Image
The most mortifying fact of my life is something that happened when I was fourteen and I have never admitted to anyone:… — Augusten Burroughs Facts Copy Share Image
I've overcome a lot - sexual abuse, death of a loved one, bad parents and experienced life. My nature is such I… — Augusten Burroughs Abuse Copy Share Image
No matter what I've written, someone somewhere has come up to me and said, "Me too." The truth can be offensive, but… — Augusten Burroughs Books Copy Share Image
It was unnerving, the way she could go from cool efficiency to sarcastic to sweet within the space of thirty seconds. I… — Augusten Burroughs Efficiency Copy Share Image
“I had always had the oddest feeling, consider it knowledge, that if I were ever to find myself inside the cockpit of… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“If you have one parent who loves you, even if they can't buy you clothes, they're so poor and they make all… — Augusten Burroughs Child Copy Share Image
“Unconditional love. That's what this is. I love him, as is, fully. I've had to stop arm wrestling with the facts. Why… — Augusten Burroughs Love Copy Share Image
Women smirk at baldness. How adorable would they find it if they began to lose their breasts in their late twenties? If… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Then he explains Chinese food in Manhattan to me: 'See the way it works is, there's one central location out on Long… — Augusten Burroughs Chinese food Copy Share Image
“Dorothy viewed my mother's propensity toward madness not as something to be afraid of, but rather as something to look forward to,… — Augusten Burroughs Mother Copy Share Image
“In addition to calling each other standard names like bitch and whore, the Finches incorporated Freud's stages of psycho-sexual development into their… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Dennis's superior mental health was obvious from the first date, like a cleft palate. The other thing about him was that he… — Augusten Burroughs First date Copy Share Image
“Paul, all I know is that this is the third time we've talked tonight, you're saying 'fuck' to me, I'm a guy,… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
![“No matter what I've written, someone somewhere has come up to me and said, "Me too." The truth can be offensive, but it's always nourishing, in a way. You recognize it. You can feel it. And even if [readers] think, "My god, I would never get in those situations," within those ridiculous…” quote by Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eaf/augusten-burroughs-603_books_no-matter-what-i-ve-written-someone-some_2635472.jpg)
