All Art Buchwald Quotes
- The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water. Exactly
- Television has a real problem. They have no page two. Page
- If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments. Been
- I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive. Alive
- On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive. Alive
- I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought. Dialysis
- ... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech. Afterlife
- I earned my stripes as a Marine, and the Corps gets full credit for straightening me out. At 17, I was young, I was unhappy… All
- People who live in glass houses have to wash their windows all the time. All
- Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later. Change
- Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father… Beautiful
- Television has a real problem. They have no page two. Consequently every big story gets the same play and comes across to the viewer as… Across
- While my friends were discussing Pearl Harbor as the country's problem, I took it personally. It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be… Attack
- Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great… Audience
- People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even Answer
- New York was the glamorous town that you only see now in old movies and on Broadway stages. The sky was lit up with dancing… Broadway
- I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis… Been
- No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance… Chance
- War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be… Around Somewhere
- I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage. Advantage
- I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had. Best
- The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties. Book
- I know it's very egocentric to believe that someone is put on Earth for a reason. In my case, I like to think I was. Believe
- Every once in a while your world stands still... There are certain friendships that are so important they leave a mark on you long after… Certain
- I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a… Anyone