Art Buchwald Quotes

71 quotes in 1055 categories

• Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
• Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.
• You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
• Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
• If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
• This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.
• A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about…
• The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile…
• The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was…
• We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was,…
• When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it
• There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of…
• I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
• Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we…
• Ascot is so exclusive that it is the only racecourse in the world where the horses own the people.
• I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies
• People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but…
• Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.
• I don't know whether this is the best of times or the worst of times, but I assure you it's the only time you've got.…
• I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

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