Allan Sherman Quotes

27 quotes in 413 categories

• A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and…
• The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.
• Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.
• You may be wondering why I went from over there to over here. Well, that was choreography.
• Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.
• I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't pay…
• A committee is a group of individuals who all put in a perfectly good color, and it comes out gray.
• Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.
• In Hollywood if you are not working, you are a leper. True, you are probably living in the most expensive leper colony in the world.
• Teacher, teacher, I declare, I see your purple underwear.
• The head coach don't want no sissies, so he reads to us from something called Ulysses.
• There's Beatles books and T-shirts and rings, and one thing and another. To buy my daughter all these things, I had to sell her brother.
• Love is lovelier the 7th time around.
• Anyone who calls it "sexual intercourse" can't possibly be interested in actually doing it. You might as well announce you're ready for lunch by proclaiming,…
• Temples also take into consideration an ability to pay and, in a general sense, do not turn people away if there's a need,.
• You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't…
• Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact,…
• When the great history of trouble is written, my family will stand extremely high in the table of contents.
• Our act started at the bottom and went downhill.
• They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And we all have heard…

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