Alice Thomas Ellis

There seems to be a peculiar and particular tie between men who have been drunk together.

— Alice Thomas Ellis

“There is no reciprocity. Men love women. Women love children. Children love hamsters. Hamsters don't love anyone; it is quite hopeless.”

— Alice Thomas Ellis

“I vividly recall an occasion when the oldest son was starting to crawl. We were sitting in a garden in the country…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

“They shared an image of the American Christmas--riches, reconciliations, tears, snow, success, sentiment, furs and firs, the shop windows shining like Heaven…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

Those who live on vanity must, not unreasonably, expect to die of mortification.

— Alice Thomas Ellis

Phrase books seem to be a universal and eternal source of hilarity and I think I know why. Their authors go mad…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

The snag in being married to a person who knows more or less everything is that one gets hopelessly lazy. ... I…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

Evil and laughter cannot co-exist.

— Alice Thomas Ellis

There is a hint of despair in the cry of 'I told you so,' an element of disappointment in the apparent satisfaction…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

Claudia's the sort of girl who goes through life holding onto the sides.

— Alice Thomas Ellis

Our only hope rests on the off-chance that God does exist.

— Alice Thomas Ellis

Men were made for war. Without it they wandered greyly about, getting under the feet of the women, who were trying to…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

One can get very fond of the people one meets in bars. The trouble is they then appear sort of different in…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

“There is no relationship. Women, like men, women, children, babies hamsters. This is the Google Translate of the quote in Persian, above.”

— Alice Thomas Ellis

“. . to cook well and with imagination you have to be in a cheerful and contented frame of mind, and thus…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

It's when most of the guests have gone that the party really gets interesting - peering under the table and into the…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

things are never so indescribably ghastly that they can't get worse.

— Alice Thomas Ellis

Death is the last enemy: once we've got past that I think everything will be alright.

— Alice Thomas Ellis

I have frequently thought that the dead should be buried with all their belongings. It seems weirdly perverse that their clothes should…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

I like money. That is, it is my preferred means of completing pecuniary transactions. I'm not particularly keen on handing over wads…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

I have never had much trouble simultaneously entertaining diametrically opposed propositions, and welcome the possibility that this is not because I have…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

Optimism is the last resort of those in deep despair. There can't be any optimists in heaven.

— Alice Thomas Ellis

I think the meaning of the universe is bound up with the egg. ... I am fed up with the meaning of…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

“When the children were very small I spent weeks alone with them high up in the Welsh hills and I used to…

— Alice Thomas Ellis

when a person implores you to be reasonable what he means is that you should speed round forthwith to his point of…

— Alice Thomas Ellis