Awkward Quote by Anonymous

My dad used to flush my mother's head down the toilet. I was so screwed up.

— Jessica Hahn

I started off cleaning toilets when I was a kid and I've had loads of jobs and I just kept working and working and…

— Lee Evans

Yeah, my kid's a genius because he shits in a toilet.

— Nikhil Saluja

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he…

— Bill Cosby

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

— Erma Bombeck

“On Being Afraid to Use the Elementary School Bathrooms to Defecate “Son, you're complaining to the wrong man. I can shit anywhere, at any…

— Justin Halpern

Today, I was sitting on the toilet. I asked my bf to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so but They…

— Sheryne Brooks

Maggie went out of doors to wash the windows and father came out into the kitchen and said he did not know whether he…

— Lizzie Andrew Borden

“Hi Daddy!” Brandon said brightly. He squished a handful of shit through his fingers and announced, “I found poop!”

— Anastasia Wilde

While fathers are pleasant figureheads, there is a special bond between children and their mothers. 'Do you help your mother clean up the house?'…

— Bill Cosby

My dad worked - f - k if I know - seven jobs? He painted a house. He would deliver toilets. He drove a…

— Mila Kunis

I was in diapers when my parents left me with the babysitter to participate in an armored car robbery. They never came home.

— Chesa Boudin