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Christ Quote by Alexander Schmemann

“A marriage which does not constantly crucify its own selfishness and self-sufficiency, which does not ‘die to itself’ that it may point beyond itself, is not a Christian marriage. The real sin of marriage today is not adultery or lack of ‘adjustment’ or ‘mental cruelty.’ It is the idolization of…” quote by Alexander Schmemann
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““A marriage which does not constantly crucify its own selfishness and self-sufficiency, which does not ‘die to itself’ that it may point beyond itself, is not a Christian marriage. The real sin of marriage today is not adultery or lack of ‘adjustment’ or ‘mental cruelty.’ It is the idolization of the family itself, the refusal to understand marriage as directed toward the Kingdom of God. This is expressed in the sentiment that one would ‘do anything’ for his family, even steal. The family has here ceased to be for the glory of God; it has ceased to be a sacramental entrance into his presence. It is not the lack of respect for the family, it is the idolization of the family that breaks the modern family so easily, making divorce its almost natural shadow. It is the identification of marriage with happiness and the refusal to accept the cross in it. In a Christian marriage, in fact, three are married; and the united loyalty of the two toward the third, who is God, keeps the two in an active unity with each other as well as with God. Yet it is the presence of God which is the death of the marriage as something only ‘natural.’ It is the cross of Christ that brings the self-sufficiency of nature to its end. But ‘by the cross, joy entered the whole world.’ Its presence is thus the real joy of marriage. It is the joyful certitude that the marriage vow, in the perspective of the eternal Kingdom, is not taken ‘until death parts,’ but until death unites us completely.””

Alexander Schmemann

About This Quote

Source Theery: The Christian Vision of the Church, 1965 (paraphrased)

The text warns that modern marriage often idolizes the family, neglecting its spiritual purpose and the cross, leading to selfishness and divorce.

In simple terms: Marriage should focus on God, not just family happiness, to avoid selfishness.

Key Takeaway

Center marriage on shared faith and self‑sacrifice.

Themes

marriage faith self‑sacrifice family spirituality

Mood

reflective hopeful

Type

theological inspirational

When to use this quote

  • marital counseling
  • faith‑based workshops
  • pre‑marital education
  • church teaching
  • personal reflection

Key Concepts

theology ecclesiology Christian ethics

Questions to Reflect On

  • How can couples keep God central?
  • What practices sustain self‑sacrifice?
A Different Perspective

Emphasizing happiness alone can ignore deeper spiritual challenges.

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