Credit card Quote by Albert Meltzer
““Personally, I want to die in dignity but my passing celebrated jollity. I've told my executors that I want a stand up comedian in the pulpit telling amusing anecdotes, and the coffin to slide into the incinerator to the sound of Marlene Dietrich. If the booze up can begin right away, so much the better, and with a bit of luck the crematorium will never be gloomy again. Anyone mourning should be denounced as the representative of a credit card company and thrown out on their ear. Snowballs if in season (tomatoes if not) can be thrown at anyone uttering even worthy cliches like "the struggle goes on" and should anyone be prepared to dodge pieces of concrete confrontation. If I have miscalculated, as a worthy clerical friend assures me I have, and there really is a God, I'd like to feel if he's got any sense of humor or feeling for humanity there's nobody he would sooner have in heaven than people like me, and if he hasn't, who wants in?””
About This Quote
The speaker desires a flamboyant, irreverent farewell, mocking conventional mourning and seeking humor even in death.
In simple terms: He wants a funny, non‑traditional funeral.
Key Takeaway
Embrace humor in life and death.
Themes
death
humor
individuality
Mood
irreverent
darkly humorous
Type
satirical
provocative
When to use this quote
- funeral planning
- personal legacy
- creative expression
Key Concepts
existentialism
social critique
Questions to Reflect On
- How do you want to be remembered?
- What role does humor play in coping?
A Different Perspective
May offend traditional sensibilities.
