““What odd things really, when one collects them all together, one DOES remember out of one's life. One remembers happy occasions, one remembers- very vividly, I think- fear. Oddly enough pain and unhappiness are hard to recapture. I do not mean exactly that I do not remember them- I can, but without FEELING them. Where they are concerned I am in the first stage. I say, 'There was Agatha being terribly unhappy. There was Agatha having toothache.' But I don't FEEL the unhappiness or the toothache. On the other hand, one day the sudden smell of lime trees brings the past back, and suddenly I remember a day spent near the lime trees, the pleasure with which I threw myself down on the ground, the smell of hot grass, and the suddenly lovely feeling of summer; a cedar tree nearby and the river beyond...The feeling of being at one with life. It comes back in that moment. Not only a remembered thing of the mind but the feeling itself as well.””
