If you want to be witty, work on your character and say what you think on every occasion. — Stendhal Copy Share Image
If someone stole your tweet just write 50 more tweets or have them murdered. Simple. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It is a poor wit who lives by borrowing the words, decisions, mien, inventions and actions of others. — Johann Kaspar Lavater Copy Share Image
“If you want the truth from someone, just make them angry.” — Jason Gabriel Kondrath Copy Share Image
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I started putting words together, making rhymes and being witty with the wordplay. I can play a little bit of guitar, and… — James Paxton Copy Share Image
If you had sex 365 times in 12 months and melted down the rubbers to make a tire, what would you have??… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this? — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny,… — Ian Hislop Copy Share Image
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Judges ought to be more learned, than witty, more reverend, than plausible, and more advised, than confident. Above all things, integrity is… — Francis Bacon Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton says she's the most qualified because she was married to a president for eight years. Now let me ask you,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sir, money, money, the most charming of all things; money, which will say more in one moment than the most elegant lover… — Henry Fielding Copy Share Image
“ 'Venti caramel macchiato, please,' he said. 'Hold the snobbery.' The barista laughed and hit buttons on his register. 'You sure? We're… — S.W. Vaughn Copy Share Image
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'm going to show you the real New York - witty, smart, and international - like any metropolis. Tell me this: where… — Oriana Fallaci Copy Share Image
Years ago someone wrote [about me]: 'She characterizes Molly Weasley as a mother who is only at home looking after the children.'… — J. K. Rowling Copy Share Image
I don't think I'm a witty person. To me, a witty person is a funny person who is also a smart person.… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I have been lately introduced to the famous Thomas Paine, and like him very well. He is vain beyond all belief, but… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One… — Diana Vreeland Copy Share Image
![“Years ago someone wrote [about me]: 'She characterizes Molly Weasley as a mother who is only at home looking after the children.' I was deeply offended, because I until a year before that had also been such a mother who was at home all the time taking care of her child [...] What has lesser status…” quote by J. K. Rowling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/861/j-k-rowling-2-683_care_years-ago-someone-wrote-about-me-she-cha_2789230.jpg)
