If evolution was worth its salt, it should've evolved something better than 'survival of the fittest.' I think a better idea would be 'survival of the wittiest.' At least, that way, creatures that didn't survive could've died laughing. — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
“So if you've had a good time tonight, or if you've had a good time any night, for gosh sake's why not drop a… — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other. — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
Wouldn't it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen,… — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever… — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn't… — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
“I always wondered why somebody didn't do something about that. And then I realized I was somebody.” — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
