“Well, it’s not every day a guy learns he’s got a magical unicorn penis.” — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“This guy has a magical dick, Mandy. His dick is like a unicorn. His dick has basically proven the existence of unicorns. I now believe in unicorns. For real, I’m not kidding. Call me back, please. Please, please, please!” — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“It makes sense that the two most beautiful people in the room should gravitate toward each other.” — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“That was only my second time doing that. But I watched some videos last night, so I was hoping it would be okay.” “Firstly—again,… — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“Laura: Ew. So gross. I don’t want to hear about you and Justin getting it on, Elizabeth. I’ve known him since we were twelve.… — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“I do love you.” Tears rise in my eyes. “I love you so much, and I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’m… — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“I relax against his chest, turning to look up into his stupidly handsome face. Why does he have to be so pretty to look… — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“You look beautiful.” I shift my gaze slowly to my right and find him watching me with that intensity in his eyes again, making… — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“a good man is like melted cheese; a bad one is like a rectal exam. In other words, a good man makes everything better,… — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“I don’t know. I guess he doesn’t want his grandmother to know that he’s living in sin with a woman he got pregnant out… — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“I’m always in the mood to cook.” I brush her hair out of her eyes. “And I’m definitely in the mood to be alone… — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“But he also smells like a cross between a redwood forest and homemade frosting, moves like a sexy beast who is completely comfortable in… — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“That’s how much you should love the woman you’re going to marry. You should love her so much that if she were taken away… — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
“I’ve been dating for over a decade, Libby, and I have never had a man look as hopeful and adorably desperate over me as… — Lili Valente Copy Share Image
