Umpires Quotes · Page 2

I told the umpires to walk back at least thirty-five feet from home plate. That reduced the arguements.

— Bill Klem

Earl gave me his version of what happened and asked me not to suspend the umpires.

— Lee MacPhail

I try to swim every damn day I can, and I've learned to scuba dive and snorkel.

— Nina Simone

I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm damn well gonna do it!

— Geri Halliwell

Boys, I'm one of those umpires that misses 'em every once in a while so if it's close, you'd better hit it.

— Cal Hubbard

The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.

— Navjot Singh Sidhu

I'm happy wherever I go, whatever I do. I'm happy in Iowa, I'm happy here in California.

— Ashton Kutcher

Anyone who votes for McGowan is 100 percent right. He was a great umpire. He belongs in the Hall of Fame.

— Al Barlick

Whenever you have a tight situation and there's a close pitch, the umpire gets a squawk no matter how he calls it.

— Red Barber

It's so worth-while being a judge, because, if I make good, I can help prove that a woman's place is as much…

— Florence Ellinwood Allen

Sigmund Freud was a novelist with a scientific background. He just didn't know he was a novelist. All those damn psychiatrists after…

— John Irving

“The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically…

— Kurt Vonnegut

Umpire Harold Bird, having a wonderful time, signalling everything in the world, including stopping traffic coming on from behind.

— John Arlott

I couldn't see well enough to play (baseball) when I was a boy, so they gave me a special job - they…

— Harry S. Truman

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than…

— Flip Wilson

They are supposed to be dispassionate dispensers of Pure Justice, icy islands of emotionless calculation. In short, umpires should be acute Republicans.

— George Will

America overflows with specious "victims" demanding redress for spurious grievances. However, one genuinely oppressed minority is getting overdue relief. Beginning with spring…

— George Will

Where am I? Who am I? How did I come to be here? What is this thing called the world? How did…

— Anonymous

“Doug Harvey was a stickler for the rules. When Harvey was in the minor leagues, all the other umpires would go out…

— Peter Golenbock

No, I don't think my presence will cause an increase in black attendance at Cleveland. People come out to see the players.…

— Frank Robinson

Justified or not, the Supreme Court has a kind of sacred status in American life. For whatever reason, Presidents can safely run…

— Jon Meacham

Most umpires are good about letting the argument go, but you can only go on for so long, or go so far.…

— Bobby Cox

I don't know how we could use it to improve the job that umpires do, ... The human element in sport has…

— Bud Selig

Umpires got power, man. You ever notice if you go to a ballpark and there's a close play on first base, they…

— Pete Rose

Ed (Runge), you're the second best umpire in the league. The other twenty-three are tied for first.

— Carl Yastrzemski

Mike Judge, who I've become friends with over the years never took himself seriously as an artist.

— Bill Griffith

Being an umpire is like being a king. It prepares you for nothing.

— Ron Luciano

“Sachin's straight drive is like fired bullet from most efficient gun.”

— Amit Kalantri

I'm all for umpires. I'm not against them. I'm pro-umpire.

— Kyle Schwarber

Since its inception, our Nation has stood on the foundations of compassion and justice.

— Mike DeWine

There's too much tendency to attribute to God the evils that man does of his own free will.

— Agatha Christie

“Batting is like another language for Sachin, he always answers his critics by this language.”

— Amit Kalantri

Cardinal rule for all hitters with two strikes on them: Never trust the umpire.

— Robert Smith

Step outside the guidelines of the official umpires and make your own rules and your own reality.

— Phil Ochs

Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.

— Jerry Coleman

No one's gonna give a damn in July if you lost a game in March.

— Earl Weaver

I don't give a damn about the stock market. But I do care about jobs.

— George Voinovich

To threaten the institution is to threaten fair administration of justice and protection of liberty.

— Stephen Breyer

On the whole, life is unfair in the way it works out. It is a game played without an umpire!

— Ursula Bloom

Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is . . . well, an umpire.

— Ron Luciano