Twitter Quotes · Page 95

Why do dogs love their daily walks? They get to check their p-mail!

— Nikhil Saluja

On twitter, you may have a zero follower; but in real life, this is not possible because everyone has a shadow!

— Mehmet Murat Ildan

Social media is great if you want attention but hate leaving the comfort of your bed.

— Anonymous

It's one thing to be funny in a tweet. It is another to be funny for an hour.

— Michelle Wolf

Every night when everyone's asleep, I grab my phone and I start reading all our old conversations.

— Nikhil Saluja

You know the acronym behind your name won't keep me from kicking your ass in the parking lot.

— Nikhil Saluja

I am comfortable with technology. I am a private person and would rather not be on Twitter or Facebook.

— Zeenat Aman

My parachute isn't opening!! said Tom, jumping to a conclusion.

— Nikhil Saluja

We [Facebook] really believe in enabling people to be their authentic selves on the web, and enabling people to communicate directly with…

— Sheryl Sandberg

I love people who post about every detail of their life on facebook¦ then get mad because people are In their Business

— Anonymous

Twitter was designed to be this system that you just scan for information that's important or useful to you and then walk…

— Evan Williams

Ideally, Facebook would take all our clicks and information and would magically give us everything we want, without us even knowing we…

— Om Malik

MOVIE STAR, a Hollywood resident who cannot live in the institution of marriage -- but doesn't mind frequent visits

— Nikhil Saluja

Just take terrorism, for example. We have a team of more than 200 people working on counterterrorism. I mean, that's pretty intense.…

— Mark Zuckerberg

I just need a day off, from reality, just a day without people, problems, and all the bullshit that runs through my…

— Kevin McCarty

First I laughed my way through Elinor Lipman's book of political tweets. Then I put my ear to the ground and listened…

— Wally Lamb

We've never met before and I start telling you how much I love your favorite musicians, how I watch the same TV…

— Christopher Wylie

TikTok gives an artist a voice. I'm very careful to be very authentic on there - everything I do comes from me,…

— Laufey

I did go to college with him, but everyone's always like, 'Did you meet Mark Zuckerberg? Did you hang out with him?'…

— Colin Jost

One of the things that amazes me about Twitter is the way it utterly eradicates artificial barriers to communication. Things like status,…

— Dick Costolo

Im here in Las Vegas judging the Miss America competition and I have a blog about winning tickets sweepstakes, and people are…

— Kris Jenner

Throughout my career I have developed a thick skin against verbal abuse, justifying it as just 'part of the game' but the…

— Chris Smalling

I love Twitter. It doesn't keep me from writing and I think it's a really convenient scapegoat when the truth is that…

— Roxane Gay

Much of social media can be seen as the 'News of me.' It's not so much a platform for connecting and sharing…

— Hozier

“If my cats were my facebook friends, our relationship status would be "It's complicated".”

— Yasmine Surovec

Every influencer sees fans fearlessly admitting their love on social media.

— Rohit Saraf

Almost all serial killers are men. That's 'cause women like to kill one man slowly over many, many years.

— Nikhil Saluja

“You're actin' like a girl, wanting to add me on Facebook and change your relationship status,”

— L.A. Casey

FACEBOOK IS LIKE JAIL U SIT AROUND AND WASTE TIME, WRITE ON WALLS AND GET POKED BY PEOPLE U DNT KNO

— Anonymous

I was having a good day until I went on Facebook and saw all the drama. Sigh.

— Anonymous

I do use texting as a great way to communicate quickly, but I don't Twitter or anything.

— Dave Gahan

Everyone has a life story. Mine will probably end with something like then he found twitter.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't really have a strategy for social media. I think that's my strategy is that I don't have a strategy.

— Roy Choi

My friends are all about Instagram and all about Snapchat.

— EJ Johnson

If we hook up this Cinco de Mayo, I promise not to tweet about it.

— Anonymous

Why don't blind people sky dive? Because it scares the hell out of their dogs!

— Nikhil Saluja

It's not 100 per cent clear to me what's working about Snapchat.

— Brian Acton

I'm pretty sure Facebook was invented by someone who wants me to fail Law school.

— Anonymous

We are the WTF generation: Wikipedia, Twitter and Facebook.

— Anonymous

They named it Twitter because Licking each other dirty asses was too long.

— Nikhil Saluja