Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!' — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think Mitt Romney is a symptom. I think the problem is the Republican Party. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Thanks [Donald] Trump for exposing evangelicals as 'shameless hypocrites'. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I was out at the HBO party, these are liberals, I imagine, and a lot of people came up to me and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In this country, a smart leader is suspect. That's just the way it is. Even George Bush's father, who was a lot… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There are only three ways a congressman goes out: They die in office, they cash in as a lobbyist, or they mistakenly… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
President Obama invited John McCain to the White House to give his opinion on Egypt, specifically what it's like to be a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
No politician is perfect. But in every election in your life, there will be one choice that is better than the others.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Republican Party is like the corpse in 'Weekend at Bernies' and the Tea Party is like the two guys who put… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Don't vote for Republicans or Democrats until they clean up the open system of bribery that we live under. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
John Kerry made a joke about Bush being a moron, and now Bush wants morons to think it was a joke was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Karl Rove thinks we shouldn’t have Hillary Clinton in the White House because she fell and hit her head a couple years… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That my job!' But… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The president is not doing well with African Americans. His popularity rating - his approval rating - with blacks: two percent. Two… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney we think is going run again. He says he has no plans to run, but he said if he did… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: The rest of the world can go back to being completely jealous of America. Our majority white country just freely… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Well, the American public always wanted to vote for a guy and Bush was the perfect guy who they'd want… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There is a big difference between a disappointing friend and a deadly enemy. Of course the Democrats are disappointing. That's what makes… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans don't have to accept evolution, economics, climatology, or human sexuality, but I just watched a week of their national convention, and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Over the last 30 odd years, Democrats have moved to the right and the right has moved into the mental hospital. So… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We learned this week that Mitt Romney is building a car elevator in his house. An elevator for your cars. I get… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Karl Rove described Obama as "the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini, and making snide comments… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Democrats must get in touch with their inner asshole. I refer to the case of Van Jones, the man the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it be because his station wagon was full… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It's going to be Perry, it's going to be Romney...It's sort of a battle for the soul of the Republican Party -… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share
So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies. — Bill Maher Copy Share
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.” — Bill Maher Copy Share
![“Thanks [Donald] Trump for exposing evangelicals as 'shameless hypocrites'.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c00/bill-maher-211_exposing_thanks-donald-trump-for-exposing-evangel_378457.png)
![“Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f44/bill-maher-211_campaigns_conservatives-claim-hillary-clinton-camp_1819381.png)
